Posted By: Fame
Wanna use the toilet? fuck you, pay me! - 08/21/06 12:01 AM
Me and 2 co-workers o mine (Mr.Pepperoni and Miss Onion)went to a certain mall the other day. (note: we are not friends, just co-workers, we went to the mall to buy a birthday gift for another co-worker)
Suddenly, Mr. Pepperoni said: "Holy Jesus fucking Maria, I gotta take a dump"
We made our way to the toilet, escorting the poor fella, and there it was like in the old arcade machines : "insert coin" to pass the gate to the toilet.
Mr. Pepperoni was already scrambling through his pockets searching for a lil quarter to set him free, but Miss Onion wouldnt hear about it, she went like:
"The hell you are, you're not paying these sons o bitches a cent! this is outrageous! paying money to use the toilet...Im gonna sue their asses!"
At that point, Mr.Pepperoni, whose quest for freedom and self relaxation has been detained, turned all red, screaming at Miss Onion :
"I dont care about it now, I gotta go in, move aside!"
To which Miss Onion replyed: "over my dead body! it is totally unacceptable that a human being will have to PAY for his basic natural needs, this is unheard of, humanity is going backwards...and I wont let you be part of it, stand your ground, fight for whats right!"
Mr.Pepperoni, realizing its only a matter of seconds before his ass blows off, tried a different, more sophisticated tactic to relieve Miss Onion from her firm grip on the coin slice:
"Listen, what about food & drinks? those are basic needs too. And you gotta pay for them, right? so whats the big deal here"
Miss Onion: "Bah, youre weak. Youlll say anything to go in. THE BIG DEAL IS that in FOOD you acquire something new, hence the need to pay for it, but with the other thing, you perform a natural physical body action and u need to pay for it? its disgusting!"
If you're asking where was I in all that act...well I was standing right behind them, laughing my ass off enjoying the show. in the end, he pushed her and got in....she kept screaming after him : "HAVE YOU NO MORALS????DONT SURRENDER!!!"
A security guard who heard the screamings came to see what was all the commotion about, and she started all over again, telling the guard the payment sytem of the toilets is a "dangerous facilty which endangers the future of our society"--(those were her exact words...)
You know what I think? as irritating as Miss Onion can be, I must say I do understand her feelings on the matter. If theres already a toilet in a public place, let it be free.
On the other hand, I also understand Mr.Pepperoni, who had to go in, knowing that if he wont it wouldnt change a damn thing, the gate that says "wanna take a dump? fuck you pay me!" will still be there tomorrow. his refusal would only bring a smile on Miss Onion's face and a big mess in his pants.
What r your thoughts?
Should it be free? is it wrong to charge money in this case?
Will you pay money to use the toilet?
Suddenly, Mr. Pepperoni said: "Holy Jesus fucking Maria, I gotta take a dump"
We made our way to the toilet, escorting the poor fella, and there it was like in the old arcade machines : "insert coin" to pass the gate to the toilet.
Mr. Pepperoni was already scrambling through his pockets searching for a lil quarter to set him free, but Miss Onion wouldnt hear about it, she went like:
"The hell you are, you're not paying these sons o bitches a cent! this is outrageous! paying money to use the toilet...Im gonna sue their asses!"
At that point, Mr.Pepperoni, whose quest for freedom and self relaxation has been detained, turned all red, screaming at Miss Onion :
"I dont care about it now, I gotta go in, move aside!"
To which Miss Onion replyed: "over my dead body! it is totally unacceptable that a human being will have to PAY for his basic natural needs, this is unheard of, humanity is going backwards...and I wont let you be part of it, stand your ground, fight for whats right!"
Mr.Pepperoni, realizing its only a matter of seconds before his ass blows off, tried a different, more sophisticated tactic to relieve Miss Onion from her firm grip on the coin slice:
"Listen, what about food & drinks? those are basic needs too. And you gotta pay for them, right? so whats the big deal here"
Miss Onion: "Bah, youre weak. Youlll say anything to go in. THE BIG DEAL IS that in FOOD you acquire something new, hence the need to pay for it, but with the other thing, you perform a natural physical body action and u need to pay for it? its disgusting!"
If you're asking where was I in all that act...well I was standing right behind them, laughing my ass off enjoying the show. in the end, he pushed her and got in....she kept screaming after him : "HAVE YOU NO MORALS????DONT SURRENDER!!!"
A security guard who heard the screamings came to see what was all the commotion about, and she started all over again, telling the guard the payment sytem of the toilets is a "dangerous facilty which endangers the future of our society"--(those were her exact words...)
You know what I think? as irritating as Miss Onion can be, I must say I do understand her feelings on the matter. If theres already a toilet in a public place, let it be free.
On the other hand, I also understand Mr.Pepperoni, who had to go in, knowing that if he wont it wouldnt change a damn thing, the gate that says "wanna take a dump? fuck you pay me!" will still be there tomorrow. his refusal would only bring a smile on Miss Onion's face and a big mess in his pants.
What r your thoughts?
Should it be free? is it wrong to charge money in this case?
Will you pay money to use the toilet?