JOKE (political)

How many members of the Bush Administration does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: TEN...

1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed,

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed,

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb.

4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness.

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb,

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner "Bulb Accomplished",

7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush was literally "in the dark" the whole time,

8. One to viciously smear #7.

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light bulb-changing policy all along,

10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

And after all is said and done, no one will notice that they never actually managed to change the light bulb.

Just as well..... it would've been shot out by "Deadeye Dick" Cheney anyway.

SB - That was great!! Thanks for brightening my day!

The Other SB

Good stuff.

That's hilarious... although not completely accurate, as I believe most of those things take more than just one person to do. Sometimes even whole committees. :p

I have seen that joke. Very funny! Does this mean this is a Bush joke thread???? Don't get me started. I have quite a few. :p


TIS

I though it was funny and I like the President.

I thought it was funny but I dislike President Asshead er...uh...I mean Bush Jun. very much.

On a related note, here's David Letterman's Top 10 List of reasons why Dick Cheney won't resign:

10. Trying to fix up Condi Rice with his dauther.

9. Turns out when you shoot somebody, if you're not Vice President you gotta do time.

8. Bush leaves at two every day and then it's margaritas and Fritos.

7. Set the solitaire high score on his office computer.

6. Wants to see if he can help Bush get his approval rating under ten.

5. Too hard to give up Vice Presidential Discount at D.C. area Sam Goody stores.

4. Wants to stay on the job until every country hates us.

3. Extra-zappy White House defibrillators.

2. Undisclosed location has foosball and whores.

...1. Why quit when things are going so well?

:p

1. Why quit when things are going so well?


Here's another good one:


"Plans were announced to raise $300 million for the George W. Bush Presidential Library. $300 million. That's almost $150 million per book." --Jay Leno

TIS

I still have to hearken back to the Presidential campaign of 1972. A bumper sticker read: Why switch Dicks in the middle of a screw, vote for Nixon in '72.

HILLARY CLINTON'S SENATE CAMPAIGN SLOGANS

1. HILLARY CLINTON: ONE OF BILL'S FAVORITE WOMEN
2. HE BETRAYED HER -- WE SHOULDN'T
3. IF SHE BEAT THE INDICTMENTS, SHE CAN BEAT RUDY
4. DON'T ASK WHAT SHE'S DONE -- ASK WHAT SHE SAYS SHE'S DONE
5. WE ARE THE CHOSEN ONES: HILLARY PICKED NEW YORK
6. IF YOU CHEATED ON YOUR WIFE, MAKE IT UP BY VOTING FOR HILLARY
7. MONICA NEVER GAVE HIM A CHILD

I do remember that. Not funny, but a very early memory for me was when I was downtown with my mother. It had to be around 1952/54 (or so???). Anyway, Eisenhower was campaigning and drove thru the city. Everyone had an "I Like Ike" button on. Very vague, but for some reason I remember the commmotion/crowd. ), went out right in the street, pretty close and waved and cheeered. They sold pins that, as you move it it flashed to one picture of Kennedy, and the other of "Swainson", who was running for Governor of Michigan at the time. My mom killed me when she found out I paid a dollar for that pin. Big bucks back then.

TIS

I can remember a bumper sticker during the 1972 campaign that said - no joke - McGovern Can't Lick Our Dick! with, of course, a picture of Nixon. (Sorta made me wonder which side of the political fence gave those out.)

TIS - Didn't know you hailed from Michigan. Signora V. is from Battle Creek with relatives in Lake City and Houghton Lake. Small world - and beautiful country up there.

Back to politics. Many years ago, I saw some graffiti on the wall of a toilet stall that could be used for almost any elected official (that's why I'm leaving out the name - you can insert the name of your choice): If You Voted For _____________ You Can't Go Here; Your Ass Is In Washington.

Works for me.

Signor V.

Another political "slogan" of the day was, "Dick Nixon before he dicks you".

I can't say I specifically remember this one, but I do remember a lot of "peanut" jokes.




I believe this is the campaign pin I was referring to in my last post. How funny!! I looked under campaign memorabilia Kennedy/Swainson and I found it. I guess it's now worth $24.00 now.



TIS

That Swainson looks a little creepy. Did he win?

From The Late Show With David Letterman this week - Top 10 Things Overheard During George W. Bush's Trip To Cancun:

10. "Feels great to get away after three straight weeks of work."

9. "As President of the United States, I pledge to do whatever's necessary to help the Cancunians!"

8. "Couldn't we have stayed home and gone to Chi-Chi's?"

7. "Cozumel? Isn't that the chick I made Secretary of State?"

6. "When do I get to meet Zorro?"

5. "Holy crap, how'd they move these pyramids from Egypt?"

4. "I'll have a non alcoholic pina colada...just kidding, juice me up, Pepe!"

3. "N.A.F.T.A.? Don't they make auto parts?"

2. "Secret service! He's choking on a nacho."

...1. "Once you get a little buzz going my poll numbers don't look so bad."

:p

The only poll numbers that matter are the presidential ones. Because who knows who takes the poll?

I've seen signs that women hold up that say "The only Bush I trust is my own" the first time I heard that I could not stop laughing.

Ok, my turn!! :p


"Indicted former Republican majority leader Tom DeLay announced he is resigning from Congress and he will not run for re-election. People were shocked. A Republican with an exit plan? ... They say this will be the first time Tom DeLay actually takes a vacation he pays for himself." --Jay Leno

"We've had so much rain. President Bush declared L.A. a seaport today and handed management over to the city of Dubai." --Jay Leno


TIS