Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?

I've noticed, both on this board, and in my everyday life, that a lot of men who claim to be straight as an arrow, don't seem to be at all comfortable in their sexuality. For instance, in my every day life, I hear girls all the time exclaim how this other girl is pretty, how young girls ALWAYS wanna look like their role model (i.e Britney Spears, for lack of a better choice at the moment).

Girls can pick an individual and wanna be like them. Boys, on the other hand, pick an occupation.

Girl: I WANNA BE LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS, MOMMY!

Boy: I WANNA BE A FIREMAN!

See what I'm getting at?

It seems to me that woman are a whole lot more comfortable in their sexuality than men. And here's where it involves the BB:

In Fame's "Profile Thread", he left a choice open for Hottest Woman Alive, and Hottest Man. Going throught he majority of the posts, most (if not all) of the guys, either put " " or nothing at all, or something suggesting "they don't swing that way." However, all the ladies (or most of em) weren't ashamed to put a name of a woman down in the "Hottest Female Alive" choice.

Me, I'm completely comfortable in my sexuality. For my choice of hottest male, I put Johnny Depp. There's not a gay bone in my body, but I'm not ashamed to say that Johnny Depp is an attractive man.

I've also surveyed some guys (including my brother), but beings that I'm majoring in psychology, I know how to twist things. For instance, the first thing I'll ask:

Q: Given the choice, if you could look like any famous man in the world, what females would consider the hottest man alive, who would you choose?

Most would give an answer such as Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, or someone along those lines. Then I turn it around and ask "So you think he's attractive, no?" And they exclaim "HELL NAH MAN, I AIN'T GAY!"

Hence, my point.

It is my opinion that most guys aren't comfortable in their sexuality. Whaddya yall think?

I totally agree... it's not uncommon for a girl to tell another girl, "Your shoes are so sexy!" Making general compliments either about the person herself, or about the clothes she's wearing is totally normal.

Or when talking amongst themselves, they talk about other women like that... I have a friend who, at least once a week, tells me, "Adriana Lima's so hot, man. If I was a lesbian, she'd be the one." Or when (straight) girlfriends see each other across the room, they at least smile, but a lot of times even "flirt" with each other jokingly, with like a wink or making faces, etc.
Yet no one gets paranoid, like "WTF? Did she just wink at me? What is she, gay?"

However, this just being from my observation-- guys hardly ever compliment each other, especially on their appearances. And most of them wouldn't be caught dead making flirtatious jokes to each other. I mean besides JG and DMC, of course. :p

Well, I somehow agree with you, but I've had girlfriends who also were not relax enough to say a woman is pretty or hot.
But then I really didn't come across this syndrome until I went to some foreign trips. Maybe it is because homosexuality is so rare out here, so people don't think you are gay if you complimented someone of the same sex.

I'm pretty satisfied with my sexuality. I think women are beautiful, don't understand how can men like other men and think they are insane and mentally ill. God made Man to intercourse with a Woman, and not how some peeps choose to do. BTW, I have a question for the ladies Why do they always go to the bathroom together? Gossipin? But how come in a bathroom? Does the aroma of a bathroom make it a pleasant athmosphere to chit-chat?

The bathroom because there's a mirror there.

Together because it's more convenient to gossip while reapplying your makeup. It kills two birds with one stone.

And the aroma? A lot of times it just smells like perfume in there, because sometimes women put on just one more spray halfway through the night, in case it's fading away by then.

Very valid questions, though! :p

Women's room is the only place we can talk behind men's back and they wouldn't know!

The bathroom because there's a mirror there.

Together because it's more convenient to gossip while reapplying your makeup. It kills two birds with one stone.

And the aroma? A lot of times it just smells like perfume in there, because sometimes women put on just one more spray halfway through the night, in case it's fading away by then.

Very valid questions, though! :p [/b][/quote]I see..

But I still keep in mind that if I go out with some friends (girls included), and the gurls need the toilette, I hope don't need to wait when they go. :p

Yea its true. I hear alot of girls saying this girl is beautiful but at the same time they go and say that girl isn't beautiful or whatever.
For some reason, its uncomfortable for a man to say that another man looks good, dont ask me why. There might be more reasons for that. If women ask men about some other mens looks and ask why he doesnt comment, men often say "Well, Im not gay" Atleast I heard that often...
Personally I dont say look thats a good looking guy or whatever but I can see why women say that Johnny Depp is hot.. :p

BTW: Adriana Lima is the hottest woman on the planet

I think it is a societal thing. There was recently a story in the NY Times about what guys do when they go out together, and it pretty much says straight guys do not do things like go to a really fancy restaurant, or to a museum together because, of all things, many of them fear that someone will see them together and assume they are gay.

It is slowly changing, however. In my generation I remember many fathers whou would not hug or kiss their sons...which is pure insanity. I also note that a lot of guys now greet each other with a hug, something that is done in Latin countries world wide. Guys are also much more prone to cry in public than they used to be.

As for some things, like noticing shoes, or going "shopping" for hours on end without buying anything, I think we are wired a bit differently. I think this is why guys sometimes get into trouble with the women in their lives by failing to notice a new hair do or new shoes etc.

I think you miss a very important factor here.

Many men are so comfortable with their Sexuality that they don't have to put it out on the table, shout it out to the world or prove it to some moron who wants to pick it to death when we give an answer.

Why wouldn't I answer say "who the hottest man" is? BECAUSE I DON'T THINK OF MEN AS HOT! If you asked me if a guy has a rugged look, or a masculine look about him, maybe even a feminine look or nature about them then I may be able to answer that. If you asked me, who do I get along with, feel comfortable being around or enjoy sharing time with. I could answer without batting an eye.

Using the term "HOT" means to me, that they have an effect on me. See that girl over there. She is good looking, she is nice, she has a wonderful smile. She the girl that she is with, now man she is "HOT" and to me that means I find something more or I am attracted to her.

So why do men back-tract when they are asked that type of question using that type of wording. It is simple it isn't a normally used term when we think or talk about another guy. That is unless we find him attractive and or maybe gay or trying to express those feeling to another.

You know the more I think about it. If a guys keeps asking me about guys being "hot." I may start to feel that the person himself may be gay and he is feeling me out. Trying to see how my feeling are towards the subject.

BTW, when you used this question and you twist it around on some poor guy- It is a cheap thing to do to someone and thus making him feel uncomfortable, not so much with the question, but first the twist itself and then in what you are trying to make it seem like. Just like a smart ass lawyer would do.

I have to add, not you Don T. I just notice that this post falls behind your post.

Well, maybe I'm just an old fashioned person coming from a different era to young things but, if my husband started going round saying how hot he found this guy or that guy I would be very worried indeed and he would be in deep trouble too :p

FH

Ditto what she said. I'm pretty young, from this era, but I still don't want my husband saying a guy is hot. I don't see it as them not being comfortable with their sexuality, I jsut see it as they don't have to sexualize men.

Very funny FS.


I agree with the idea that as a guy I do not find any guys to be "hot." I have my opinions on which guys are "good looking" (Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, Johnny Depp) and which guys I don't think are particularly good looking (FFC, Tom Cruise, Lawrence FIshburne). Just as I have opinions on women (IMO for example, I do not find Julia Roberts all that hot). This is all a matter of taste, not sexuality. I think, for instance Paris Hilton, while not pretty is VERY HOT in a slutty kind of way.

I don't personally think someone like Johnny Depp is "hot". I don't find any man living to be "hot" because that's pushing it. IMO, when you find someone "hot", you are physically attracted to them. However, when you find someone "attractive", you think they look good, or nice, or whatever. I happen to think there are many attractive guys out there in the world, but I'm not physically attracted to any guy. And believe me, I don't go out with friends and point out guys and say "Dude, that guy's attractive.", because that's just weird, and it sends bad vibes. Nor do I check out other guys. The point I'm trying to make here is that you can find someone of the same sex attractive, and it doesn't make you guy. A lot of guys, though, don't see it that way.

Sure, I didn't want anyone getting their nose out of wack.


Adding that word VERY in there takes it up a notch. you sly dog you.

Thank the lord, no one has turned this into a Gay rights thread.

Paris hilton is hot and good in bed, we had great time last nite when she came over. I videotaped it but am not gonna put it on the internet.

I think Pierce Brosnan is one handsome devil. He's in his 50's and he's better looking than any of those 20 year old blonde actors who appear for their 15 minutes of fame and then start snorting coke off the asses of 65 year old directors while Clair De Lune is playing in the background. Brosnan is a man who looks great whether he's wearing a tuxedo or playing a rugged, gorilla raised monster in the South American jungles. This man is the total package. That luxurious hair, that sly smirk, and that oh so remarkable body make him a man to be reckoned with. Screw Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, Brosnan is the only man that can make my heart swoon and my blood boil.

That is Bond, James Bond. He gets all the ladies.

And now it seems like some of the guys also.

He makes the old bed pan shake, Huh M4M-
I know, if you were only 45 years younger.

I'll tell you what really gets to me... Now-a-days, it seems like whenever someone dislikes another person or thing, it immediately becomes "gay". And you know, it's not even that I find it to be offensive to people who really are gay... I say plenty of offensive things for a chuckle; it just makes people sound so unintelligent, and the thought that anyone can be so naive and uncomfortable with their own sexuality really brings us back a while.

Down in my neck of the woods, a fella would get his tail whooped if he said another guy was "hot."

Yeah, I recognize the fact that there are "attractive men" to the opposite sex, and what I call "pretty-boys." But I view guys as something slightly above neanderthal. I don't care what their face looks like: they've got hairy bodies, hairy underarms, and a dong, just like me. What's the big deal? I may view somebody like Arnold Scharznegger in his Mr. Olympia days and say, "I wish my body was like that," or the late, great Bruce Lee and think, "Wow. I wish I was that limber and fast." But that doesn't imply (to me, anyway) that I think they're gorgeous or something. But women , on the other hand, are goddesses!

A couple of people have pointed out, that after reading this thread they thought that the opening poster may really be the one to have a problem with his sexuality and that it is crying out in his post. That he is trying real hard to make an issue out of something that really isn't there.
That this may be on his mind and that he doesn't know how to work it out.

Interesting how these people who are taking courses all seem to dig to death everything they see or come in contact with. Do taking courses make us all walking microscopes,looking at all those around us?

I'm not even gonna dignify that with an answer. :rolleyes:

The whole point behind this thread was to hear the opinions of others on this topic. I don't just go walking around randomly asking people "Do you think its ok to find people of the same sex attractive?" If you ask me, that would raise a lot of questions. All I wanted to hear was the opinions of others, and you wanna make assumptions about my sexuality. Dude, you don't even know me.

I don't think it's a bad topic at all. Of course I'm not a man, so don't know how or if I can answer it.

While it's true, men don't call other men "hot"; they don't go to the restroom in groups and never plan a day of clothes shopping, I think it's just in their blood. Ok, maybe a little machoism too, but I don't know that it means they are insecure with their sexuality.

Think about it ladies! If you were a man...no shopping sprees, no going out to coffee with the girls and no Lifetime movies!!! and damn! We'd have to learn parts of a car engine!! :p Boring!! What a nightmare that would be.


TIS

Uh oh, I don't think I can handle any competition right now!

This thread is just hilarious. And typical.

The original poll that this question is likely based on used the word "hot" -- but most of the poll had terribly worded questions to begin with.

Anyway -

Many people, I would've hoped, would actually get passed the word "hot" and just answer the question. Yes, I think Johnny Depp is a good looking fella, and that's how I answered the question. (Whether I think he's HOT or not, well, I'm not tellin'! :p )

My point is, it's not -- or at least SHOULD not be -- "a gay thing." I don't care what any man says: We all know who's good looking, who's average, and who's ugly. No doubt about it. It has nothing to do with sexual attraction. The ONLY problem the poll had was that it used the word "hot" and everyone got their jockstraps in a twist. :rolleyes:

Maybe I'm the only one here, but, I have no problem at all w/ myself, anyone else, nor their sexuality (ask my boyfriend DMC! ) -- and really think that some who present themselves as SO uptight as to say "no not me, I can't answer that!" are sooooo insecure about themselves in general, that it's a shame.

It seems the ones who scream the loudest are the ones most insecure or unknowing or even most unwilling to accept themselves -- let alone anyone else. And that's the real shame.

Who gives a shit? I surely don't. And I would hope that no one else does, either. Because those who do aren't those I usually like to associate with.

But, to finally answer your question... ( )

No, we're not. But, it's been getting better than it has been lately, I think....

But I really want to be a fireman.

But I'm also gay.

well, these are very compatible things, Turi. As a fireman you'll have a lot of "hot" machos around. :p

Ditto what she said. I'm pretty young, from this era, but I still don't want my husband saying a guy is hot. I don't see it as them not being comfortable with their sexuality, I jsut see it as they don't have to sexualize men. [/b][/quote]Hey, what makes a difference? I mean if my husband goes around and says how hot anyone else other than me is I get worried and he'd be in a lot of trouble.

Although I think "hot" and "beautiful" are two different things but I think if someone has to say "I'm not into same sex but that person is beautiful, or even hot"; that makes that person insecure or at least so much worried about what others think. I like people who don't care if something like that make others think they are gay. Just say that fella is good looking. Take a little time shopping. Watch sports. Fix that broken radio. And you still can be straight.

So, should I take down my '74 centerfold of Burt Reynolds from Cosmopolitan Magazine, or what?

I think that American men are very homophobic. You can even see it in the way that most of them dress - sweats, baggy pants, etc. And they are afraid to touch one another, although I do see that starting to change. As someone said, after a certain age, sons are not encouraged to kiss or hug their fathers anymore. Although football players can slap each other on the butt

I think that European men are much more comfortable in their masculinity than American men. They dress better, they even walk better (got that John Travolta strut), they have no problem openly gawking at attractive women (American men can be so obtuse about how to approach a woman), they will hug and kiss one another, etc.

I think that American men have made progress, but they need some work.

WOW, this is interesting....how American men would approach women?

I'm going to be serious for a moment. An Angel has fallen.

I've never been bothered if people are unsure of my sexuality. I know I am as straight as an arrow. I've confused many people here and in real life. I love joking around.

But on facial features I've never been able to determine who is 'hot', attractive or even good looking. Sure I can tell who's ugly and not ugly. It's not because I don't swing that way it's because I really don't know. If you want to take that as me being uncomfortable with my sexuality so be it.

But I'm still gay and want to be a fireman.

Wow, nearly a full post being serious.

I feel my brain spinning like a washing machine! :p

ok, let's pretend you are a fireman and you got Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp in your team. Which one would you peep at while taking a shower?

I'd have my hands down both of their pants and I'd be off skiing.

Looking for snowballs???

I'm new to this part of these boards so if I'm off track I apologize but I think most have missed the real answer to the original question. I think most men don't think at all about their own sexuality. Its not that I am afraid to say that some man is attractive, or hot, its just that I never think about it, I could care less. A guy is a guy, just like me, that's the end of the thought process. I think homosexuality is revolting, but if you were to tell me you are gay, I'd say well, good for you, who cares? Men look at women with sex in mind, always. With women I think it might be different. So, bottom line is with most men their own sexuality is way, way down the list.

"If you enjoy it half as much as I have - your days will be fulfilled and you can gom to bed happy every night"

Really? Thats all it takes, wish I'd know that 30 years ago.

Thanks for the welcome

You sure you're talking about the BB? :p

You haven't met our lil' Afi from the BB yet
[/b][/quote]Yeah, Part is right. I've this fascinations/thoughts every 5 seconds too. There are some women that make me wish I was a man every 10 seconds. Every other 10 seconds I remember I'd not probably score with them anyway so it is all good! :p

Disclaimer: This post contains sarcasm! :p

Oh, yeah, sure it does. Of course.

Disclaimer: this one does too. :p

Oh, yeah, sure it does. Of course.

Disclaimer: this one does too. :p [/b][/quote]You feel free to call me Lezbo! I could care less. :p

Oh, BTW, how you doin'?! :p