New Girl Problem

Sorry to be bugging everyone here with my own personal life but I've been really confused lately and really don't know what to do.

I started to hanging out with this one girl a lot right before christmas break at college. We were alone a lot and I know I could have kissed her but decided not to because break was coming up and I thought it would have made it hard during the one month break for both of us. She had an ex boyfriend her sr year of high school who she was pretty serious and kinda started to like again while back at home during break. Since we've been back, Ive been confused about what to do and have talked to her bout it. She says she thinks it would be unfair to me to start a relationship because she still isnt over her ex yet. However, she says she still likes me. So I really don't know what to do. All of my friends have told me to just kiss her anyway and see what happens. Should I play the friends game for awhile? I've done that so much and don't want to do it again. Should I just stop talking to her? Any advice would be great.

Uh-o, this sounds like it's gonna turn into my old thread from last semester But seriously, I think that the balls in her court. I think you could kiss her to make your case (but don't force it upon her). Again, I feel it's up to her but I wouldn't wait around forever on her man. I know it's easy for me to say but it's the truth.

My young brother - move on with your life! If she wanted you and wanted you exclusively as a friend and partner, then she would say so. You are her spare tire. She wants you as a friend in case she loses her true love, then she will never have to admit to herself or others that she is alone. She needs you for a rainy day lover. You are being treated like a condom in a wallet - not used, but just kept around in case of emergency.

She wants to be friends - great - so be it. Keep the relationship on that level and let her use your heart as a yo-yo no longer. Otherwise pretty soon, she will 'walk the dog'.

KISS HER!

Do it now and regret it later, if nessesary.


To see if there is a spark there, you must smooch her face. Do it and judge her reaction, if all goes well, you will have wowed her off her feet and Johnny Chumps will be left in the dust. Give her something to forget her ex over.

The Doctor (of Love)

Kiss her and then disappear. This "bite and run strategy" is often effective. If she is really interested in you, she will look for you. Otherwise, you should not be hanging around just to wait until she makes up her mind. The sea is full of fishes, we say in Italy, that is the world is full of girls waiting for you, after all, dear Busta.

I'm a little confused here.....

All of this uncertainty about whether or not you should just try to to kiss her?

That's still only first base, right?

Given the generation gap, my advice on teenage relationships is a bit outdated, but I had the impression (and please correct me if I'm wrong) that you kids today were having sex like little bunny rabbits.

If you wanted to know if you should try and sleep with her or something, well, that I would understand.

But a kiss? What's the big deal?

You wanna kiss her, try kissing her. If she doesn't want you to, you'll know quickly enough.
I'm not gonna touch those two lines.....

A kiss is when it all begins, Plawrence!

You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss.....

It started with a kiss
never thought it would come to this

Coming from another girl, I think Lavinia said it perfectly. Kiss and Run. She'll learn how great you are. Do NOT hang around waiting for her to get over her boyfriend, that is just another way of saying "I'm so desperate I'll play second place." Lots of Luck, we'll be rooting for you!

And if you do get to first base, let us know if and when you're rounding third and heading for home.

That's great stuff! Where were you & Johnny Chumps when I needed girl help? Just kidding my brother

Lets not beat around the "BUSH" here. If you are old enough to chase after a women then you are old enough to hear this straight up.

What is the problem BUSTA? What is so confusing? You told her you like her, she tells you she doesn't want to get it on with you and uses the old boyfriend as an excuse to let you down easy.

You don't like her answer so now you are confused? Hey listen what's a the matter with some of you guys. Is everything a game to you?

Can't you have any women friends without being involved with them. If you aren't working toward romance then you want to bail out of the friendship? What's wrong here? You don't have to kiss your male friends to hang out together, then why do you have to with a female friend.

I know what you are going to say. It hurts to be around her when I want it to be so much more.
Well, that is tuff so suck it up and become a man.

If she is nice enough for you to want to be with then she is nice enough to hang out with. And who knows who she may introduce you to some of her nice friend who just may want to chase after you!

If you are having the same problem with women over and over again then it may be time to look at yourself and see what you are doing wrong.

Truth is if she wants to get kissed by you, then she will put you in a spot that will make it possible for it to happen. Mature people leave the game playing for the kids in grade school.

If you hang out and you both feel that you are right for each other then it will happen. It takes two to tango as the old saying goes.

She knows that you are interested which is always half the battle. Only chumps/kids play the chase me game to show me you really care.

Good Luck and like others have told you that there are loads of people out there also looking for that right person. The trick is to find them, then stay together!

Well, you know, Plawrence, girls are so different!
If some dirty animal would try to kiss me in the lips before the church marriage, I believe I'd slap him around!

Fathersson, yours was very right, I think.

Slapping them around after they kiss you is just as fun.

I'd like to know when he gets to 3rd base.

Some of us are.

There you see her
Sitting there across the way
She don't got a lot to say
But there's something about her
And you don't know why
But you're dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl

Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
Possible she wants you too
There is one way to ask her
It don't take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la
My oh my
Look like the boy too shy
Ain't gonna [b/]kiss the girl[/b]
Sha la la la la la
Ain't that sad?
Ain't it a shame?
Too bad, he gonna miss the girl

Now's your moment
Floating in a blue lagoon
Boy you better do it soon
No time will be better
She don't say a word
And she won't say a word
Until you kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la
Don't be scared
You got the mood prepared
Go on and kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Don't stop now
Don't try to hide it how
You want to kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Float along
And listen to the song
The song say kiss the girl
Sha la la la la
The music play
Do what the music say
You got to kiss the girl
You've got to kiss the girl
You wanna kiss the girl
You've gotta kiss the girl
Go on and kiss the girl

Do what your heart says.Kiss Her what you got to lose

I don't know Busta. I am not of your generation, but like to think I've learned a thing or two in my life.

I think FS has a point however, and being a woman myself, maybe I have a little understanding of interpreting this situation from a female view.

Just the fact that she says pursuing a relationship "wouldn't be fair to you", in my mind, tells me she is trying to be nice and let you down easy. But hey, I don't know either of you, and Lord knows I could be wrong. We can all give you our views, but in the end, you will have to be the one to decide. Whatever you decide good luck.

TIS

Translation: No thanks.

You're Mr. Just-in-Case. (I swear I knew a guy named Justin Kase in junior high... Cruel parents, just cruel. ) Or who knows? Maybe she's got you in mind as Mr. On-the-Side. Tsk tsk tsk.

Let it go. You keep chasing her, she's going to think you're pathetic. Refrain from being needy, at all costs. When she gets over the other guy, she'll come looking for you, like Lav and Kris said. That's when you cash in.

Although Plaw's right... just to make sure, you can kiss her. If she doesn't want it, you'll know pretty quick. That stinging feeling in your left cheek? You've just been bitch-slapped, my friend.

Very apropos lyrics, Plaw and Turi. You too, Bogz. Plaw, yours is one of my favorite songs of all time.

Originally posted by plawrence:
You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss.....

Remind me not to kiss you. Heck, a kiss has to mean something. I'm not gonna swap spit with someone just to say hi. A handshake will do that.


Originally posted by Freddie C.:
Some of us are. [/b]

Ahhh....to be a kid again.

Pop said that when he was in school they use to say:

Meat is Meat
and Veal is Veal
Whats a Kiss
without a feel.

Busta, ignore all the advice given, unless of course you live in a fairy tail world.

Cool!
He-he, this is a hint at - uh - me ?
Thanks, Zia, thanks.

He-he, this is a hint at - uh - me ?
Thanks, Zia, thanks.
[/b][/quote] Not at all... just a generic slap-in-the-face reference. Not calling YOU any names. But it was inspired by your comment, yes.

Thanks for the orange, though. Your fish are on the way.

Awesome – I like good fish so much!
But we shall not be at your debt long - Connie had just started cooking her special cannolies for you! :p

Well I ended up deciding to kiss her and it looks like it turned out pretty well cuz it looks likes we're together now. I guess she was just testing me or something or the kiss changed her mind.

Anyway, thanks for all the advice. I understood where you were all coming from and it helped make my decision.

If her mind can be changed with only a kiss, then how long do you think you will 'be together'? Sounds like if the old boyfriend or someone else that she meets decides to chance a kiss and she likes it, then you are back to square one. No offense, but from what you have shared, she is fickled - BUT IF YOU ARE HAPPY, THEN THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS!

Best wishes!

Sounds to me that she like you too, but that she, like you, is a bit confused. I wouldn't tell you to cut her off, don't do that, I think that you should continue to see her and do what comes natural, and if it's meant to be, it will be. If not, then you can move on with a clear head. The worst thing that anyone can do to themselves is look back and say " Damn, I shoulda..., or why didn't I... etc. I'd rather look back and say, "Well maybe I failed and it didn't work, but at least I gave it a shot and tried!" And then move on.

Remember something Busta :

"Furst chu get da money, den chu get da power, and DEN chu get da women!"


Good luck!


Don Cardi

In other words women are materialistic. :p

In other words women are materialistic. :p [/QUOTE]

No, I did not say that! It figures that YOU would be the one to think that! Hey, dos are Tony Montana's words, not mine mang!


Don Cardi

In other words women are materialistic. :p [/b][/quote]Beth I am going to be completly honest here. I honestly believe that a good percentage of women are very materialistic. How many times do you see some 25 year old female going after some rich 60 year old man? Or the ugliest, stupidest rich men have these great looking women around their arm.

I knew a person that their mother used to always tell them "don't marry for love, marry for money"

Maybe that's my problem, I'm not materialistic. But it's never too late to start I guess. If anyone out there knows of an ugly, rich 60 year old send them my way.

quote:

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Originally posted by DonMichaelCorleone:
I knew a person that their mother used to always tell them "don't marry for love, marry for money"