Uzi's Ruminations 7/22 "Children"

7/22

For months now, I have seen children come and go here. And I keep seeing the same behavior. I want my comrades' input.

The kids come here. The say hello. We welcome them. Right off the bat, as soon as they discover no one is paying attention to them, they stammer and pout like four-year-olds.

Two suppositions:

1. These children are spoiled fucking rotten. Since birth, their parents have bent over backwards for them. They are used to getting their way, immediately. When they don't, they cry about it, and then the parents give in.

2. These children are utterly ignored at home. While the family structure is ostensibly sound, it is deeply flawed. The children want nothing more than to be heard. And, like the previous group (but in a different manner), when they don't get what they want, they cry.

And I believe the problem is all the more pervasive BECAUSE such bahvior is being exhibited in cyberspace. One would suspect that teenagers are smart, perceptive and savvy enough to understand the imprecise and intermittent communication of the Internet.

So, it all comes down to children coming here, demanding respect that they haven't earned and do not deserve.

Maybe I'm crazy. But when I was a kid, I knew where I stood. I was a KID. I didn't know my asshole from my eyeball, and everyone except me knew that. So I grew, learned, worked, acted humbly. When did the change come that children believe everything should be GIVEN to them?

lol, for HH: It's the democrats fault. (j/k)

Because unlike a real family, this and most online message board requires no credentials; no set of morals; no loyalty; no knowledge; all you need is a PC and a dial-up connection. Any idiot can write on a message board. It takes a master to filter through the crap of cyberspace.

DJ, methinks you missed my point entirely.

I was elaborating a bit on this part. Off tangent, but still, elaboration.

A rumination for the ages, literally. The evolution of the generations. I'm sure many sociologists have filled volumns on this topic. Major influences on this phenomena: television, computers, the deterioration of the family (single parents, latch-key kids, etc.), disposable income, lack of respect for other people (or the "me first" attitude.)

Can you name a TV sitcom where the children DON'T talk down to their parents?

Computers put all information at your fingertips; how to make bombs, worship Satan, pornography, the degradation of human dignity.

What's the divorce rate? How many children are aborted each day? How often does the family sit around the dinner table and just talk?

How many families have a TV for each member, a car, a phone, a credit card....one for me please.

What about me? Me,me,me. And I'm not singing.

I think the divorce rate is hovering around 50% with couples married after 1970. That is...astonishing. 50%.

Kids are bad enough these days, but don't blame it on the kids alone. There are some adults who clearly should not be parents. (Don't get me started with kids who wear leashes)

I'm proud to say that when I was a kid I was punished. Hard and often. Mom was fast and sly ("Wait til dad gets home"--left you a terrible feeling the whole rest of the day) and dad was scary. (*smack*--left you a terrible feeling for a few days)

I once told my dad to shut up. Wow. The memories are scary even still today. But, I love my parents, I respect them, I don't think enough kids really respect their parents today.

So I think, to answer your question Uztopoke, I think it would be option 1.

Indeed. Culpability rest with parents. How else could an 11-year-old kid believe telling a teacher to fuck herself is OK? (Not that kids with good parents don't misbehave...they do...I am talking about those who misbehave and haven't learned, from their parents, that such behavior is abhorrent). Such behavior is rarely intrinsic.

DJ, that was low. Is it always political with you?

At any rate, I am a 19 year old kid. I am alrady thouroughly disgusted with society. Although I was a child only years ago, I was raised to understand the roles that a child has; namely, to obey your parents, and to learn in the process. I was raised in a strict household, where my father regularly kicked the shit out of me. Nothing abusive, just good old fashioned discipline.

But the power to discipline has been taken away from parents. Children are allowed to divorce their parents, sue their parents for a variety of raesons, etc. A parent who whips their child is now a criminal, rather than a good example. This is not to mention the millions of kids who grow up in single parent or working parent-with-nanny households. In my opinion, nothing good can come out of those situations, but that is another story.

The result is a generation of kids who have no respect for their parents, and later, their superiors. They have no respect for the order of things. Because parents can no longer discipline, they have to fold to their kids' every childish desire, and this leads to the "instant gratification" that is almost completely prevalent in our society. This leads to spoiled kids, who in turn develop no social skills. And when they click on this messageboard, all they can do is bitch and moan.

I really hate all children. They're so annoying. I really disrespect anyone younger the me because for some odd reason I am easily peturbed by them.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Hollywood Hagan:
[QB] This is not to mention the millions of kids who grow up in single parent or working parent-with-nanny households. In my opinion, nothing good can come out of those situations, but that is another story.


Sorry, my daughter grew up in a single parent household. She doesn't cuss, smoke, drink, never did a drug, 18 and never been arrested or pregnant. And if she ever told me to shut up she'd pick up the phone and call the paramedics herself instead of wasting my time, cause I'd just call the mortician. Yeah, us single moms suck big time!!!

I'm sorry about that. I should not have said that nothing good comes out of that situation. I do, however, believe that it is simply harder for a single mom to raise a child. I'm sure you can relate to that. I never said that sinlge moms suck, I actually have a lot of respect for them.

It is just that because I assume that being a single mom is quite difficult, the majority of them are not as successful as you. And as a whole, single parent households are bad for society.

Again, I'm sorry if I offended you. It seems like you did a fine job with your daughter.

No offense taken. I just wanted to make a voice to the small majority of women who work to support their kids and don't ask for a handout, but are judged because we chose not to stay in a hell of a relationship. Just keep in mind that not all 2 parent households are brought up by June and Ward Cleaver either.

Cheers!

I understand what you are saying Beth! I too raised two daughters (now grown)by myself. I never got welfare, asked for handouts as you say, and worked my ass off and scrimped and tried to keep my head above water. I am proud to say that I have never been late with bills, filed bankruptcy or was I ever on the verge of losing a place to live. This happens often with single parents, and I consider myself very fortunate.

I would never encourage anyone to stay in an abusive or "hellish" relationship. However, that aside, I must say I was and am fortunate because my girls' father did not abandon them and shared in activities/events and continues to be interested in their lives. Nor did he abandon me financially, as far as child support. I do think just having him in their lives did contribute to the way they turned out. Two parents or one parent, the bottom line is to remain involved and interested in their lives.

My eyes opened when I started working for a school, and see first hand how "uninterested" many parents are. We are to be babysitters for kids dropped off 2 hours before or left 2 hours later when their is no supervision; we are to teach them respect, manners and give an education to them. Yet, must do all this without any parent concern/involvement or interest. Ok, not all of course, but believe me, many, many parents are like this. I am assuming perhaps this is the kind of thing HH was referring to.

Btw, isn't it great as your daughter approaches adulthood, and you can more or less start thinking of you? (if you know what I mean )

TIS

Amen sister TIS. See HH, 2 women here who raised kids that turned out ok. Unlike TIS I was not fortunate to have the father's help. Now that she's 18 I think I'm never gonna get it..hahaha. Yeah, her leaving for college in October is coming around the corner, and mamma's kicking up her heels and letting down her hair. I spent 18 years of my life being a parent. And yes TIS, the ones you speak of at your school unfortunately seem to be par for the course. Noone taught my child discipline but me. Chicks rule here man!!!!!

right Uzi, and the funny thing is they always put a thread on their farewell. are they looking for symphaty? waiting for other members to not let them go? or just looking for attention? its is fine to make a thread for your exit if you're going to outer space, going six feet under the ground or having a very reason for your exit just to say goodbye to your friends. well oh well, after the farewell thread hope they won't come back using another name. I'm sure time will come they will miss this board and can do nothing but read.
Beth and TIS, you Rock! here's for both of you.

GoodFella

Thanks Oggie. A beer tastes good at 10 oclock on a work night.

Salud!

Does this mean you wouldn't tell me "don't let the door hit you on the way out" if I ever made it to Manila?

Thanks GF! I suppose I got a little carried away and off topic on my last post. Sorry!

I do understand what Uzi is saying, and short of dividing the board into adult/kiddie sections (which is impossible), I couldn't guess what could be done. I think Geoff's "ignore" suggestion is the only thing that can be done. However, there are those who chose not to ignore, and I assume it will always be that way.

I don't know what the answer is really, but I do know that we do have some intelligent and well mannered young posters who I really like, and would hate to alienate. For those of us who have been around a while, I think ignoring and moving on to other posts/topics is the only answer.

TIS

I came from a broken home and see how I turned out? I much rather see my parents happy apart than miserable together. It left me free to be an adolescent rather than worrying about the next fight.

People have been complaining about teenagers and neglectful parents since the dawn of loin cloth. You all can go blue in the face blaming divorce, the parents, corporal punishment, media, abortion, etc. but I can name an exception to each thought until I'm blue in the face (not a pretty sight). If this is what the topic is about...let me roll up my sleeves...

However, I believe the topic at hand is THIS board and this new internet phenomenom. Forums like this are teamed with folks (young&old) who can't believe their luck in finding a public showcase for their every dark to mundane thought. People come and go so quickly and under so many guises that it's harder to build a community and easy to be abusive, or loud to gain notoriety and attention.

The internet most self-indulgent medium ever invented. So yea, it tends to attract or at least be most abused by the very people who are at the most self-indulgent point of their lives. THAT is the point I believe.

I dunno, I just came here for the Godfather talk.

Really.

Oh hell. Blows that theory.

But 1600+ posts on the GF? Rather talk about the new strappy sandals I got at the Gap gurlfriend?

Tubular! Lets go gurlfriend. We'll give each other manicures baby.

Define child.

Uzi - am I one you refer to?

Firstly, fuck you if I am.

Secondly, let me explain. Firstly, I have nothing handed to me. I'm poor, Uztopoke, welfare-poor. But I'm happy. I need no bullshit attention, I have one parent - call me an attention grabbing little shit if you have to, I don't care - it's all relative. I'm happy although confused. Confused who I am, what I am, how I am. I don't want to know. I'll sail my ship, I'll live my life. And currently it appears that the less baggage you have, the bigger your potential grows. I don't fucking know, do you have any idea? Sure you do.

So, what am I then? Answer me.

I think he was talking about "J" not you.

Fuck you.

What the fuck is your problem?

Please DV, don't bring my name up anymore. Let some things rest.

Ha! No, fuck you! ( This would be a response to what you said if I saw things from the same paranoid ( I am admittedly paranoid, but only on more prominent matters. ) light from which you see. It said: fuck you, when you meant Vercetti, but since it said you ( 2nd ) person, I could take it directed at me. )

Vercetti was trying to clarify the motif in Uztopoke's reply, which would be helping you or abating your paranoia on this matter.

I apologise Vercetti, I'm a bit strung up at the moment.

J, you brought it on yourself...

OK, but I'm done now.

Go out in the street to continue your intermittent learning of more street stratagems, chances are that if Affirmitive Action is abolished you might need them.

Chances are if a BP jacket is available, you might need one.

Don't try to bait me into someone else's thread, because now I see, no matter what I say, or what someone else says, I'm gonna be the one to blame. I started in my thread, and that's where I'll end. So I'm over there if you want me.

I don't wear jackets, and bye if you're leaving.

Beth and TIS, I am sorry that I opened up that can of worms. I would never want anyone to stay in a bad relationship. I would never call a single parent a bad person or anything like that. But TIS hit it on the head when she said that many single parents simply do not have the time to be heavily involved in their childrens' lives. This doesn't make them bad parents. It's quite a shame, actually. As is the case with some of my own friends, their parent is trying to do the best they can, but it is not enough. Two of my best friends come from single parent households, and they are wilder than anyone else I associate with. It could be coincidence, but I doubt it.

All that being said, more power to you two, and the other single moms who have raised good children!

No. I am not referring to you. Have you 'gone' anywhere? Have you left a thread or a message to Geoff whining about not being noticed?

I suggest retracting that prospective 'fuck you.'

What are you? I don't know. I don't know you.

My initial comments are not specific to this board. Yes, happenings on this board spurred my inquiries, but they point to a much greater phenomenon.

Well, its not all in the on-topic forums...

Yes, I've noticed.

Gee thanks

Evidently Uztopoke, I take back fuck you, my harsh, quick reaction.

The phenomenon of the one-letter issuestand? Ya?

"Doesnt cuss, smoke, drink never did a drug"


now im not saying you dont know your daughter, but obviously your daughter isnt gonna do those things around you, theres no way to tell if shes done drugs etc

I lived 11 years with a hard core drug user. I know every sign from the shaking, sweats, mood swings, etc. So please, you with your freaking 2pac Sakur avatar mind your own business, or go smoke a joint.

Oh how funny of you, would you like a cookie?

you lived with a hard core drug user, exactly, i didnt say your daughter was on fucking heroin did i? i wouldnt be surprised if she smoked a bit of dope now n then, face facts you cant possibly know every thing your daughter gets up to you


and my avatar is better than yours

dude my avatar r00ls.

I really have no desire to smoke, be it tobacco or pot, or take any drugs (except alcohol)...it just never really interested me. But I do have friends who are potheads (which also contributed to my NOT doing it, after seeing them in action )