Happiness

Do you think it's possible to live a happy life all by yourself? I mean no spouse and no kids.

When you're 20 then you're "single and happy". You want to party, you don't want to settle down, coming home to an empty apartment is not an issue. But what happens when you're 30 or 40 and you're still coming home to an empty house, can you still be happy then?

Do you think single adults can be just as happy as family guys?

I think most people will say, for example, that Oprah Winfrey is having a dream life. But she's not a mother. She chose career. And I'm asking, is she less happy than most mothers out there?

I know that there are many people who are married and unhappy, but generally speaking I'm just asking if true happiness in life depends on having a family above anything else.

I'm starting this thread now because I just came back from a meeting with friends, and one of them, a 35 year old woman, is worried that she'll never be happy in life because no man will ever want her ("I know I have an ugly face, nothing will ever change that") and she says she really wants to have children, but not without a father. She said she tried the internet as well, and as soon as the guys see her pic they lose their interest. She says it's hopeless...we tried to cheer her up, but to no avail. She just turned 35 so that's why she's very upset right now (more than usual)

The internet is nice but young people and older that post stuff on it that you can't take back from the Twilight Zone , back in my day and now they call it Cyber Space !

We all do stupid ass things in this world but now days your fucked !

Do I have to speak clearer than that ? I don't think so .

Good topic !

Ugly face has not stopped women from scoring hot guys. I know a couple of ugly women who have landed angels for life. I think it has to do with foregoing lots of pride and paying lots of compliments.

There can't be a single way to happiness. Being a mother/father could make some happy, some miserable or even does not make a difference for some other people.

Most people don't like to be lonely. And when I talk about loneliness, I mean lonely at home. That's a given that when we come home, we'd like to have love and support. But then coming home to someone else does not grant that we'd have that.

I'm a few months away from her age and I think she goes through midlife crisis. It's an age that you compare your life with your old classmates and facebook doesn't help either. I think it comes down to your own disposition, and how you judge yourself considering your abilities and potentials and not just compare yourself with someone who sat beside you for a couple of years decades ago. We all have different circumstances over the years and if we forget that, this comparison could be very disheartening to ourselves.

And lastly, like it or not we ARE alone. None of the things that we gather around ourselves are there to stay forever. We'd have to have a reason to be happy with our own self, at least till the time that this brain of ours fails us and we vanish into nothingness. So much for not thinking about depressing stuff.

Your right good post!

A guy should always marry an ugly woman. If he marries a pretty gal and she runs away he'll be very sad. If he marries an ugly gal and SHE runs away, who cares?

Reminds me of the song "If You Wanna Be Happy" for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife.

Happiness is different for everyone. One doesn't NEED to have a spouse or children to be happy or fulfilled. Sure, in the course of your life you will think "what if" I had kids or a spouse, or what if I had done this or that differently? To quote another song, "regrets, I've had a few." That's normal.

In the end though, happiness/contentment lies within yourself I think. My contentment/happiness or what it takes for me to feel that way may be totally wrong for someone else.



TIS

How true my friend it reminds me of a story. To keep it short ! A man was picked up by a State Trooper for speeding. ( But the guy that was picked up knew that the State Trooper had been messing with his wife and she was gone at the time he was stopped for this traffic violation. ) So when the Trooper came up to the door , and asked why he was going so fast? The guys says , I am so sorry , I thought you were stopping me to return my wife !

Good one TIS , and you pulled that reminds me of a song off great.

That actually comes from an old Abbott & Costello routine, but I LOVE that song, TIS.

I was always happy. Single or not-so-single. I never equated having a man with being happy. I don't need a lot of people around me to be happy. In fact, the less..the happier I am.
I need my husband. That's who makes me the happiest. He's also the one that puts up with all my bullshit. That always helps. Of course, children ARE happiness, that goes without saying. Other than that, who cares. But do I think that having a husband and children are the ONLY way to be happy and fullfilled in life? Hell no. Someone can have just a fulfilling life without. Not me, but I don't think everyone is cut from the same cloth. Thank goodness.

The cold truth, though, is people tend to gravitate towards a partner that is their equal in looks. It's rare that you see an extremely attractive man with a woman that looks like she just kissed the F train. That's just the way it is. That being said, good looks mean different things to different people, though, so who knows.
I think my husband is the hottest thing going, even after 15 years of marriage. And THAT makes me happy.

Abbott & Costello? Oh that was way before my time.


TIS

Fame, nobody's perfect. Everyday I see people that are obviously disadvantaged in some way or another. To put it bluntly-ugly people get married and have children too.

That said, I don't think your friend is doing herself any favors by describing herself as ugly. That is making it very obvious that her ego is damaged. And even if she's ugly as sin, walking around like she knows it and saying it is NOT attractive to anyone.

I would advise her to do the things she enjoys doing and eventually-assuming she WANTS a LTR- she'll probably find someone willing to walk with her. Everybody needs encouragement sometime. Were I her friend, after giving her said affirmation I would tell her to not feel sorry for herself and enjoy life. Winter is coming soon enough.

Lilo makes a great point that I didn't get to earlier. Confidence. It is THE most attractive thing you can own. You don't have to be the most attractive person in the room, but walk in like you are, and you will own it.

The worst thing a woman can do, is point out all her flaws constantly to a man. Men are simple. They think a woman is beautiful, til she keeps pointing out everything that is wrong with herself. Eventually, he starts thinking..hell yeah, maybe her ass is kinda dimply, she's right. lol

This girl that Fame is talking about will never have a man interested in her if she is walking around calling herself ugly, etc etc. Looks aside, imagine the emotional baggage that must go along with dating someone like that. It would be exhausting to be with her.

LOL true. Those thoughts wouldn't have even crossed our minds otherwise.

Fame, if your friend has resigned herself to misery, then that's what she's going to get. You must find your own happiness within yourself, not look for affirmation from others. To paraphrase Ayn Rand, you can't say "I love you," until you can happily say "I".

A mate and children don't guarantee happiness - the exact opposite could be true. Mine have brought me immense happiness, but they wouldn't please everyone.