Off to Jail!!!

Well,I'm an idiot.Violated my parole and now I'm off to jail for about a month.So it's easy time,but the hardest thing I'll find is not having a drink.

I report in on Monday.At least i get one more weekend to go nuts.

My friend who was locked up at the same prison said they have a library with internet access.So depending on the circumstances,I may be able to log on and annoy you.

See ya in a month.

See ya in a month mate



Watch out for the booty bandits

Yeah,I'll be sure to watch my reflection.

Whisper,

That's awful. I didn't know you were on parole. Well, you'll have plenty of time to think, that's for sure. It'll give you a chance to sort things out.

Good luck


TIS

Don't worry, buddy. A guy like you can easily do a month while standing on your head. I had been a criminal defense lawyer for 5-6 years and some of the nicest people I've met were behind bars.

Don't sweat it.

I'm sorry to hear that. Hopefully that month will go by fast. Just don't drop the soap dude.

Just a month for a parole violation? Wow.

Just drink a month's worth of alcohol over the weekend, you'll be fine.

I'd expect little else from a convict, anyway.

ENJOY!

"Watch out for your cornhole, bud."

Hey thanks for the support guys.A month for a parole violation is light,although my parole was nearly over..I'm kicking myself!!!

I'm not too stressed about it,but of course I'd rather not go in.

As for ass bandits,I'm packing my ass with chunky peanut butter before i go in,so if any dirty mother comes near me,they'll freak.Luckily,I've been boxing most my life too.Hopefully that helps.

Well It's Sunday morning here now,one last day of freedom.

Talk to you guys soon,maybe even while I'm in there.Like i said,there's a library with internet access.Maybe i should avoid it though,otherwise other inmates will be like,"there's that nerd who's always in the Library,let's "jump" his ass.(Pun intended).

what violation did you break..

Good luck chief,you should be able to do a month standing on your head

write a few songs while your in there..

Learn to play the Harmonica

Or the him-monica.

I was on a suspended sentence for assault.Just quickly(so members on here don't think I'm an asshole),My mum tried to commit suicide a while back.I was in the city as i had a gig to do.Next door to the venue i was playing at(Barcode Nightclub) this guy was getting kicked out of the strip joint.While he was out the front,he was cursing at the bouncers calling them ni**ers and coconuts etc.I actually tried to help the [BadWord] by telling him to "chill out..you're gonna get bashed etc".What does this dick head do??He spits in my face literally.I wipe the spit from my face and just stare at this prick.He then goes into a drunken rant about fuck me, fuck my family ,my mother etc.
I snapped.This is written word for word in the court document(continued on):

The defendant,then proceeded to punch the victim twice with a closed fist.The victim fell to his knees and the defendant then drove his knee up into the victims face,once.While on the ground,the defendant then got on one knee,held the victim by the hair and proceeded to punch him three times in the face with a closed fist.Then the defendant got up and began kicking the victim four times,hard.

Sounds bad right?What the summary,statement etc(forgotten the legal term for the document)left out was,after i hit him the first few times,he stumbled,regained balance and threw a punch to the left side of my face.I ducked it and that's when he fell to his knees.While on his knees,I admit,I did knee him.After that though,I tried to walk away,but he attempted to grab my balls!!!So that's when i got down on my knee and gave him a few more.I must say,i should have stopped there,but i got up and stomped him a bit.
I went over the top and i admit that.

So back to how i broke my last 6 weeks of parole:I went out with my mates to the city and got a little intoxicated.It was like 3 in the morning and i just wanted to get home and type on this board .The cops pull us over and I'm blind as a bat.Apparently,i was uncooperative and resisted arrest when thy tried to get me for D and D(Drunk and disorderly)Boom.I do the standard 6 hour sobering off period when this [BadWord] cop informs me that I've fucked up and the Sheriffs department is coming to take me in..PLUS take some of my belongings to match some outstanding fines i apparently have.

hope it all goes well for you..

God Speed

See ya guys in a month.

P.S Which member rated this one star?? Bastards,you're happy I'm going in. HAHA

There ya go Whisper, I gave it 5 stars to even it out. I hope to see you around sooner rather than later. Don't get into any fights or anything while you're away.

Take it easy. Enjoy

Say hello to those blowjob hacks, huh?

And don't put too many onions in the sauce.

I hear that train a comin
Rollin round the bend
I aint seen the sunshine since I don't know when,
Now I'm stuck in Folsom prison and time keeps draggin on
But that train keeps on rollin, on down to San Anton.
When I was just a young boy, my mama tol me "son, always
be a good boy and don't ever play with guns,"
But I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
Now when I hear that whistle
I hang my head and cry.

Well I'm back!! Out 8 days early.

Prison was definitely an experience and mostly in a good way.Mkaes you realize things!!!!!!! Luckily for me, i had my manger and my friends handle all my music via Phone calls and through my Myspace.

Lets see where to begin? First day in there was a bit depressing. I had to see a prison psychologist to make sure i was able to stand my time in there. The main thing that gets to you is BOREDOM. Killing time is the hardest thing to do. I was put into a prison program where we had to call up people asking them to donate money to the heart foundation, Red Cross etc. So basically telemarketing. That took up some time during the day. My "Bunker" Aaron, (Aussie slang for Cell mate) was a cool dude. Completely different walks of life, but we got along O.K. He was mostly off doing drug and alcohol programs etc. I find it funny that on T.V, you hear people say Prisons these days are like hotels etc. That's bullshit. It's no place to be in. You literally feel like a fucking caged animal and think about it, I was only in there for 2 and half weeks. Thank god my parole was nearly over when i violated it. Thank God. I really feel for some of the inmates in there serving Life sentences or even 6 months!!!!

I never really settled in. I kept in constant contact with my friends and my manager and they kept me up to date on a daily basis. I was in Division Fb. Pretty much the division for a bunch of petty criminals with no "prison respect". It wasn't minimum security funny enough. I guess cause I was in there for assault and so was half the division, I think the "screws" (Prison Guards) all think we're going to flip out and start bashing each other.
There we're times out in the yard, where you would be mixed in "general population" in a certain fenced off section, where all the harder criminals were. I heard heaps of stories like "see that guy over there, he shot such and such and what's his face". Or "that guy there, ran through a whore house, stabbed a hooker then torched it to the ground etc etc".

Some of the stories were entertaining as hell, but a lot of it was exaggerated Bullshit to build up a persons rep.

Now, I know all you are wondering about prison rape etc. Honestly, I only got fucked once without my consent...haha KIDDING!!!

I didn't see anything of the sort or even hear about that kind of thing. Aaron said that that shit rarely happens these days. I'm glad I'm not in there to stick around and find out. There were some crazy looking Mothers in there though, But i never felt scared for my safety. I'm not a small guy and I know how to defend myself. I did see a fight, but no stabbings.

Racism runs rampant in prison. I've never heard so much racism in all of my life. I hung out with all different types of people, but there was different crews, ALL of them based on race. I met one Guy "Mr. Raso" who was supposedly a Mafioso, but he bragged on so much it seemed so fake. But i just smiled and laughed nodding my head. Cigarettes are not passed around like contraband. Everyone had plenty of smokes and I had 3 Cartons and still have plenty left over. We showered as small groups and that was a bit weird to get used to. But after you do it the first time, your over it. Oh and they literally had soap on a rope!!! Hahaha. Don't drop the soap jokes were said every time with out fail.

It's good to be home and it was good to realize I had friends who could handle all my music shit.

I pray I never go back there. It's nothing like T.V. It's worse in some aspects and better in others.

I better stand up now, my ass is still a bit tender.

whisper
oh...

I did a short I.T course in there too. Just to kill more time. I can't stress this enough, BOREDOM is the real punishment.

Did they have a library?

Can you bring your own books to prison?

Glad you're back - that must've been pretty horrible!

My friend's ex-boss has been in minimal security for a few years now for moving tons (literally) of pot. Another friend got a much stiffer penalty for growing a few plants in his basement.

Yeah they had a library. That's where i did my I.T course.
You check all your belongings when you first enter. If your on medication, you literally have to summon a guard to get your medicine, Including Asthma puffers!!!

I didn't bring any books with me, but I'm sure after you checked them, they would give them back to you in your cell. The library, had a bad selection of literature. Nothing at all really. It's mostly for doing courses and finishing "High school" grades..haha

They had a band come in and play music in the "Gut stuffer"(eating area). They were "Booed" off haha.

Thanks Geoff. Hey, what happened to the little red numbers that showed how many posts you've missed?

They violated their parole... (They were taking up bandwith so Geoff had em whacked.)

I don't think it'd be too bad if I had a bunch of books, I like to read.

What about handheld video games, like a Nintendo DS?

You won't believe this but YES!!! Not sure if it was Nintendo DS, but there was a "rewards room" with consoles, Cd Players and DvDs.

I never went in there though. I'm a gangster now

Say it ain't so, Whisper.

Good to see you back Chief

Welcome back Whisper. Glad all is well. Glad you got out early.

Thanks guys. The best part is having a toilet all to yourself again.

How was the food?

Shit. Everything processed.

Meat was foul. Lettuce was the only decent stuff in there.

The bread and water was that bad huh?

Actually I don't know how old the plumbing was, but the water was disgusting. I love my water and it was such a disappointment when i first had some. There was filtered water in the psyches office. I took full advantage.

Dang, I knew there was a downside to prison....

.

In the New York State Prison System, all processed sugars and white flours were just replaced with whole grain breads and natural sugars, like fruits. They finally came to the realization that it's cheaper, in the long run, to keep the prisoners healthy.

They should just feed em Spaghetti-O's!

That would be cruel and unusual punishment.

Once or twice in a row is fine, but after that you're right.

It's good to be out!!! What the hell was i so depressed about???

Hahaha..I'm a pussy, almost loosing my mind after 2 and half weeks!!!

I kinda feel sorry for the cool people I've left behind.

There were heaps of people serving 2 days here 5 days there for drug possession and driving offenses.

I bet they miss your behind, too.

Good to have you back..

lets hope you learned your lesson.

Yeah, if you're gonna do something illegal don't get caught!

Strike 1 PB

Uh-oh, Spaghetti-o....don't make Mama mad!

You got that right.

Welcome back to the outside, whisper.

Now that you're liberated, I can finally shave.

Congrats on your homecoming, whisper. I'm sure it feels great!! Welcome back.

My wife's step brother served a 2 year stretch in prison about 10 years ago and has turned his life around since he got out so there is a glimmer of hope for you yet Whisper

Glad to see you back mate!

Yesterday a judge was telling me how he ended up in jail in Tiajuana, Mex. when he was in the service. He was in an 8' by 8' cell with seven other guys for several hours. His money and valuables were turned over, but he had $5 in his sock, which he used to bribe a guard to let him use the phone. He called his buddy at his base, and had him drive down with $50 to get him out of jail. Apparently, cash makes the trumped up charges disappear in Tiajuana.

He got out, escaping a reprimand or a court martial by minutes.

Thanks everyone.

Now, time to find a job.

I just can't catch a break. Last night I went out to a gig and I made sure I didn't get drunk as I was driving. After the gig, I hung around for a while just to make sure I was under the limit and on the way home, I was pulled over by the cops and after they checked my license and record, they gave me the breath test. I was over the limit by 0.5. So, they arrested me and I have to go back in prison. I'm not sure how long I have to go in for. I find out tomorrow and at that time, I'm being escorted back in. So tonight, I'm buying a case of beer and two large meat lovers pizzas!!

Anyways, fuck it!!

Mate, even if you had one drink you shouldn't take the risk of driving..

Good Luck with things..

You must mean 0.05. A blood alcohol content of 0.5 would have you unconscious, or worse.

Does this mean you'll have to serve the remainder of your back time, plus the DUI sentence. Best of luck to you, whisper.

In Pennsylvania drinking any alcohol at all while on probation/parole is a violation. You can't even have it in your house.

Does Australia even have court mandated alcohol programs as opposed to jail time?

I only ask because I know that the concept of alcoholism as a "disease" doesn't really fly in a lot of European countries, especially in the UK. Is it the same way in Australia?

Yeah, it's far too traditionally inherent in our culture.

I think this was a deliberate stint by Whisper: he's just missing his fellow bums.

Oh, mine too. But liberal American judges love to "help" addicts, rather than punish them. That works out well for us drunks.

Sorry to hear your news Whisper..

That sucks



People in the UK are to busy binge drinking and fighting to admit to being alcoholics!

Seriously though,addiction is looked at as a stigma here still.

Bad stuff Whisper. Maybe you might consider getting off the sauce.

Whisper get off the sauce,,never

Good luck this time around whisp.

I'm guessing, and I'm hoping I'm wrong, that you will get more time on the back hit than the underlying offense. If that's the case, we're going to have to bust you out of the slammer.

Nice, counselor. An officer of the court behaving like a common criminal. Where did you go to Law School, Bruce Cutler University?

You got the initials right. I'm a Boston College lawyer.

I was planning on you driving the getaway car.

Actually, with most people, dependeing on size and weight, two beers would put you slightly below .08.

Don't get me wrong, I don't approve of drunk driving, and I don't know how much whisper had to drink, but it sounds like pretty unlucky circumstances considering he tried to be cautious.

You tend to come across as a pretty passive aggressive dude.

Aah, a BC Law grad. Isn't that where the Harvard Law students go to feel superior on the weekends; to pick up, you know, drunken, slow-witted, legal-aide lawyers in training?

Just kidding, Klyd. I'd be your wheelman any day.

"Harvard '43, lettered in crew and polo, cheerleaders dripping off me, rah-rah-rah!" - Charles Emerson Winchester, III.

ba-dum-CHING

Those Harvard lawyers have it made after graduation.

During my third year in law school I lived in Cambridge, which, of course, is the home of Harvard. Some of my classmates and I had friends at Harvard Law, and we'd socialize, many times in big groups.

During the 2004 Democratic primary, an old classmate of mine phoned me to remind me that the keynote speaker was a guy, who came out with us once or twice from Harvard, named Barack Obama. My friend even said which night this was. I remembered the particular night (and there were a lot of people there), but for the life of me I can't remember Obama being there. I called another buddy, who was there that night, and he couldn't even remember that night.

Barack who??

kLY, wasn't Obama the guy who pee'd on fire hydrant like a dog and took off all his clothes and jumped into the Charles River?, or was that you?

They did it together but can't recall any of it now

Wow, Whisper wrote me a nice PM while I was away and I sent him a reply and have been wondering why it is still "unread". I completely missed this thread so now I know

I hope he's not in jail for too long.

They don't have PC's in prison?

This stint will likely be longer than the last.

Hey Guys!!

I've only got a limited time on the computer. Just thought I'd say I'm doing alright. Prison is fucked up. Not meant for human beings. I've got my Record Label working over time promoting my album, which is in stores now. I was meant to have my Launch on the 30th, But Instead it's going to be a gathering at the venue while they play my stuff etc. I'm dying for a cigarette and yesterday some guy from J4 division came into my cell looking for God Knows what and we got into an altercation and I'm the one who got in shit.

Anyways, I'm surviving and watching my back. (Pun intended)

Met some good older dudes who are looking out for me. I'll survive this shit physically no prob, Just mentally is the real battle.

Hope everyone is well.

Stay prosperous.

whisp.

It's good to hear from you. I hope the altercation won't prolong your stay. When you get a chance, let us know when you're expecting to be up for parole.

Good too hear from your Whisper, hope you are doing well.

Good luck man. Return safe.

I heard you're supposed to beat someone up the first day or becomes someones bitch. Hope the rest of your stay goes quick and easy.

Be strong, Whisper. I hope you learn something this time.

Just do a Jimmy Cagney imitation. " Youuuuuuu dirty screwwwwww."

Incidentally, and I'm totally serious, doesn't jail time give you "street cred" when it comes to record albums?

I'm back!!! Thank God.

I owe my manager and my record company my life. On the outside, they worked their fingers to the bone!!! Promoting my album non stop. I had cash coming in weekly and my album has sold heaps of copies!!! Half the people who bought the album didn't even know I was locked up!! Haha.

It's good to be free again!! Oh man is it bliss!!!

Second stint inside was heaps easier, I knew the program the duties the smell the vibe!!
I had cash. Smokes. Lots of visiting times and I behaved myself for the most part. I saw a guy get his entire guts sliced out of his stomach!! Also, I helped pull off this guy who stabbed this other inmates eye with a screwdriver. I made friends, I made enemies. I read. I worked out. I put ON weight!!!???

I had day release rewards and did a little set, organized on the spot during the day at a local venue. hahaha

I'm never going back. EVER!!

Anyways, heaps of shit to say, But I'm tired and I'm gonna just eat and sleep.!!

I think thats more with "Gangster" rappers.

Good to have you back Whisper,, be good..

Cheers mate.

Welcome back my friend, I hope you weren't raped too many times

What's an acceptable number?

uhhh, for Whisper, I'd say 12

You calling him a man-whore?

I will not answer that for fear I may incriminate myself

Sounds to me like you were incriminating Whisper!

Sounds to ME that you are tryin to get me whacked!

Sounds to me like whacking would be something you enjoy!

Now it sounds to ME that you are tryin to incriminate ME by sayin I am tryin to incriminate Whisper!

Sounds to me like you're trying to say you weren't calling Whisper a man-whore!

Sounds to me like you're tryin to say I was the one who used the term man-whore!

Sounds to me like you're trying to wiggle out of the fact you called him a man-whore!

Sounds to me like you're tryin to wiggle out of the fact that YOU called him a man-whore!

I did no such thing. I was merely defending poor Whispy.

I was merely stating a fact, and then YOU used the term man-whore

I just asked if you were using euphemisms to cover up what you were really saying and then you deflected the question, proving your GUILT!

Ok, to settle this we should get Klydon in here!

Yes. He beat me in fantasy football, he owes me a favor!

ok then it is settled

OH IT WILL BE!!!

SO BE IT

Did you guys get married or something while I was inside??

On a side note, Prison Rape(or play time) isn't as prominent as most people think. Prisons have much better security and do everything in their power to avoid law suits and bad press. I wasn't even approached or threatened with it once!! I knew one person who had been ass fucked But that was my Psyche!!

Also, had I been raped SB, I would have found that post highly offensive and Immature.

But anyways, I'm free. Time to Paarrtttyyy!!

Ummm... last I checked, everyone who's playing beat you

Not even a welcome back post JG??

Good to see nothings changed!!

Terribly sorry, Mate

anyways CHEERS

BTW... while you were on the Inside, my Nickname has become Deuce

Oh shit man, No need to be sorry. I was just pointing out that you gotta be careful what you write sometimes.

So Deuce eh? How did that come about?

Longneck came up with it, I kinda liked it, so it stuck

You take two at a time??

Uhhhh, no

Sorry man, sometimes it's hard to remember I'm outta Prison and can't ask that anymore.

Are you saying my conjugal visits meant nothing???

Don't be jealous SB. It was bound to happen.

Deuce

You just used me and threw me away!

Of course, welcome back my friend!

They were brutal and unloving. You used me!!

You can blame Oz for that... Do they air Oz (the show) in Oz (the country)?

Again

Oh yeah OZ!!! They did, years ago. Good show!!

Yeah that was an experience. I'd seen people stabbed before, But this guy got completely opened up. Guts spilling all over the Gym and on the tables and shit. The other guy lost his eye and the dude who stabbed him, I never saw again. Lots of blood. Lots of screaming. Lots of terror. But, I played the game. It's all a game when it comes down to it. A bunch of animals playing chess with real life pieces.

Do your Homework SB and stay in school my friend. They'd eat you up. Even now I find myself staring at your pics. Hmmmmmmmm...

that is just scaring me beyond belief at the moment

Preeeeetty sure I won this week, but who knows Yahoo still hasn't updated. You just wait till week 5, JG, I'll make you my prison bitch!

hahahaha.

Honestly, Prisons In Australia are like holiday resorts these days. I'm not saying it ain't the worst place on the planet, But it's not like in the movies, for the most part. You work, you exercise, you eat, you shit in front of people, you work again, you have chill out time, Lock downs for fights, you wanna kill your cell mate after one conversation, you try and sleep, read, use the library computers, watch ya back, use your head, make friends, make enemies, smoke, smoke, smoke, fight boredom, read pornographic magazines, dream of women, defend your worthless belongings etc etc. It's not all, rape and decapitations and corrupt cops etc. You can play music, watch TV call ya loved ones, day release privileges for good behavior.

Boredom is a killer, But you make do.

My home for the last month!

Looks like that prison from the movie FORTRESS

Fulham correctional is the name of the prison.

But we call it the "happy fun times playhouse of love and guts"

Reeeeeeeeeeeeealy, that's uhhh interesting

That's what I was thinking... The last time I was at a holiday resort I had to pay extra money to get a room that had a view of a guy getting his guts sliced out of his stomach!

Welcome back by the way

hahaha. We don't really call it that.

Just being silly.

oh good

Thanks man. Haha. Okay, maybe not holiday resorts, But not as bad as it's made out to be.

I tell you what the best thing really is about being outside again? Having your own toilet back!! And being able to open doors when you want.

Welcome back Whisper!

Thanks mate.

It's good to be back.