Top 9 Dumbest Moments in Pro Wrestling History

Funny stuff that someone at the WC boards dug up. Dear god, the Gobbledy Gooker!

http://www.talkwrestlingwith.us/2007/05/02/top-9-dumbest-moments-in-pro-wrestling-history/

I thought these lists normaly come in ten...

You're thinking of Top Ten lists, De Niro.

This is a Top Nine.

just seems like a odd number for a list.

Nevermind

I don't know how HHH dressing up as Kane and pretending to screw a dead girl in a coffin, or Mae Young giving birth to a rubber glove, didn't make the list.

That Sting/RoboCop video was hysterical!

I saw Giant Gonzales made the list. Man...if you think Khali is bad...you should have seen this guy during his WWF run.

According to Wikipedia, Jorge "Giant" Gonzales is in pretty bad health. Unlike guys like Big Show or Khali (who also suffer from gigantism), Gonzales opted not to have surgery on his pituitary gland to halt the progress of the condition. Thus, his bones and joints have begun to degenerate (not unlike André the Giant).

Gonzales is now confined to a wheelchair, and has to use specialized knee braces on the few occasions that he stands. Here are a couple "before and after" photos:

Before:



After (the most recent pic I could find):

How about when Undertaker became a sadist, kidnapped Stephanie MacMahon, and crucified her? Yeah. That's about when I stopped watching WWE. How about when Kane raped a corpse? Yeah. Good stuff.

Good ol' days

Does anyone remember Bruno Sammartino?

SC does.

Bruno Sammartino is a fantastic name. Like Killer Kuwolski, it just fucking sounds tough, really.

Vince McMahon would rather that you don't, since "Bruno" despises him, the current product, and wants nothing to do with it, thus no Hall of Fame or DVDs or even acknowledgement of his 1970s run by the company.

But Bruno rocks. At a recent convention up somewhere in New York, where he, Hulk Hogan, and Ultimate Warrior signed autographs. Hogan charged $50, Warrior $30...and Bruno's were free, since its his opinion that autographs should be free.

DJ, ah yes that crucifixtion....I always wondered how ECW got in hot water for Raven crucifying Sandman, while that whole Undertaker schtick didn't(though in rewatching those reruns recently, notice they never said "cross" but "symbol." Figures.)

Just Lou, my god those times were dumb...as well as that time in pre-nWo WCW when Hulk Hogan body slammed Paul Wright "The Giant" off the arena's rooftop and into the local lake. The problem? That lake was 20 miles away. Huh?

I remember watching a match, back when I was a kid. It was a tag team match and Fuji and Tinaka were up against two other wrestlers ( can't recall who they were). At one point Fuji knocks out his opponent and he's persuing the other guy. So Tinaka jumps in the ring and they double team him. As the referee goes over to try and get one of them out of the ring, the Grand Wizard, Fuji and Tinaka's manager, hits the referee from behind and knocks him out of the ring. Now Fuji, Tinaka and The Grand WIzard are beating the shit out of this one guy. Well who's in the audience, dressed in a Tuxedo, Bruno Sammartino. All of a sudden Bruno jumps out of his seat and into the ring and rips his tuxedo off revealing his championship belt and his wrestling shorts underneath. Then he goes and kicks the shit out of Fuji, Tinaka and The Grand Wizard! It was hilarious! I'll never forget it.

You know, I always dig to hear oldtimers when they talk about old school wrestling. Back when kayfabe was the law, back when wrestling's tricks and secrets were as safely guarded as a magician's stage works.

My grandfather telling me of when "Gorgeous George" Wagner and Lou Thesz were huge was good times. Then again, with their style of mat ring workrate, thats why wrestling had an aroma of legitimacy in those days(and no coincidence why when offered free front-row tickets to a RAW taping, Thesz wanted a Benoit/Angle match. WWE refused, and he didn't go.)



That is awesome, and something I would have marked over.

Remember when Funaki and Taka Mishonoku were a part of Kaientai? Or when they cut off Val Venis' "pee-pee" right as the show went to black? Ah. The good old days.

Bruno was theeeee best! How about Baba the Giant, Crusher Lizowski[sic], The Mongol, Johnny Valentine, Fritz Von Eric? Those were the studio wrestlers in Pgh. The list goes on.

I remember Macho Man Randy Savage's wedding to Miss Elizabeth. Dumbest thing I ever saw. I knew they were already married and I'm sure that half the planet did as well, but what in the hell went through Vince's head when approving that particular storyline?

Bret Hart's exit at the Survivor Series in Montreal - truly dumb on Vince's part.

The whole Million Dollar Man stealing Sapphire away from Dusty Rhodes was completely farcical too. I mean, Sapphire was sweet and cuddly but she was a total swamp donkey.

Chop Chop!

That must have been the beginning of numerous "miscarriage" storylines that WWF employed at the time.



I gotta agree on the Sapphire thing.

As for the wedding, wasn't that involved with the serious feud Savage was having against Jake "The Snake" Roberts at the time?

I do agree with you on Montreal, but people seem to always forget of a serious consequence that WWE still carries to this day. That was the turning point of McMahon from TV announcer who had different people over the years play as the "owner" of the company to that of being "The Owner" on TV...and the (deserving) shit that Vince got for the Montreal Screwjob set him up as the big baddie personality...

Valentine and the whole Von Eric family clan of Texas is great. That era of the weekly TV tapings at the local studio basically were infomercials for the special live events. Now its the live events that are supplemental infomercials for the TV tapings. What a flip.

My two new favourite words:

SWAMP DONKEY!

Have you seen anything as embarrassing as the Kanearoonie?

Clicky.

Pro Wrestling is great. Ric Flair rules!! Whoooooooooooooooo!!!

100% totally correct. Yeah, Ric Flair is so great in the eyes of the WWE, he got stuck doing a dark match for WRESTLEMANIA this year.

Talk about a total slap against him.

What's the saddest out of all these dumb moments?

Pro Wrestling was at one time the fourth most searched item on Google, trailing only: jobs, God, and sex.

I grew up watching Ric Flair on TBS, wrestling for the NWA/WCW. Nobody could cut a promo like him. It's very sad for me to see him still hanging on in the WWE, almost as a jobber.

Ah yes, back when "World Championship Wrestling" was only the name of Jim Crockett's NWA, with the world flags hanging around the Atlanta studio, and the Four Horsemen ruling the TV set in feuds with Dusty Rhodes, among others.

JustLou, I assume you remember this moment, when Ric Flair gave Ricky Morton of the Rock N Roll Express a training bra. Good times.

I think my BIGGEST problem with the WWE as of late is just how almost nobody knows how to cook up an awesome feud anymore it seems. Everything is botched and rushed simply for the next bloody PPV, and then forgotten.

Plus, notice that fans at these WWE events just don't give the pop or response to make whats happening in the ring that it should, at least compare to say, this Horsemen/Road Warriors & Rhodes tag match.

Yeah. The good ole days. I used to love his feuds with Lex Luger and Sting. I assume you Ric Flair's DVD? It's pretty good.

Actually, I've held off on the WWE DVDs(though I did borrow my friend's new FOUR HORSEMEN DVD. First time where its documentary is better than the matches).

You know, WrestleCrap website boards dug up this nugget that I damn remember very well:

July 29th, 1996 - Monday Night Nitro

Sting/WCW and Flair/Four Horsemen stuck in yet another stable tag team feud when Jimmy Hart interrupts the match, saying that there is f*cking chaos in the backstage, even grabbing a cameraman to follow him. Confusion is on everyone's faces, including the wrestlers, in the arena when we cut to backstage:

Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, the newly arrived "Outsiders", who are beating the crap out of everyone with baseball bats. Rey Mysterio Jr springboard jumps(!) into them, but is met with a bodyslam, neck-first, into a production van. Ouch.

What was so great about this was how Sting/Flair factions acted like they broke off their kayfabe to try to help their comrades that got destroyed...and basically assimilating "Team WCW" to go to war with the faction that soon become the nWo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V37n-CYud9A (pt 1)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4Bj6E8ZEnM (pt 2)

I'm not big on WWE releases, but "The Ultimate Ric Flair Collection" was worth it. It's has 3 DVD's with about 10 hours of footage. Thankfully a lot of it is from before the 90's. It also has a bunch of his best matches in their entirety.

Yeah, I remember that quite well. I haven't watched wrestling in awhile, but I never missed Nitro and Raw back in the 90's.

Yeah, like the 1992 Royal Rumble. A classic!

Why is it so damn great?

Because it had Flair as a heel, and yet for the hour-plus hes in the ring, he fights, strategizes, backstabs, and by luck to the point that even if you hated him severly as a wrestling mark, you must admit: He's DAMN good.

Remember when Heels were hated because not only were they jerks/scumbags, but because they were DAMN good too?

Its like why the Dean Malenko/Chris Jericho WCW feud was money. Jericho was an arrogant jackass who wouldn't shut up, humiliated and submitted every wrestler to his "Liontamer" hold. He beats up on the poor "Iceman" and he leaves....

Until Slamboree 1998, where a Cruiserweight Battle Royale is held. Last man standing gets a title shot THAT night. Cruiserweights duke it out, but a masked man is the last man standing....and its DEAN MALENKO.

Malenko and Jericho have their long-awaited rematch, and the arena just goes apeshit when Malenko forces Jericho to finally submit, and goes off into the locker room as the hero that toppled the tyrant, and with the WCW Cruiserweight belt.

Then the next night, Jericho did his best to reverse that decision with legal loopholes...but that is another story.

Jericho was one of the best heels ever when he was in WCW. The shit he used to do to Malenko was unbelivable.

Of course Flair in his prime, as a heel, was the best. One of the best lines he ever used was when he told Lex Luger he had "a million dollar body, and a 10 cent brain."

Basically represents WCW's treatment of what was an amazing set of mid-carders back in their hey days.

My personal favorite Flair-ism:

He takes his shoe off and waves at the crowd: "My shoes cost more than YOUR house!"

No shit. Look at all those mid-cards screwed over by Hogan/Klique/Bishoff of WCW and eventually became world champions in the dying days of WCW and the surviving WWF:

Chris Jericho
Chris Benoit
Booker T
Rey Mysterio Jr.
Eddie Guerrero

Nevermind other guys that were incredibly over with fans but buried like "The Iceman" Dean Malenko, Raven, the other Luchadores, etc.

Ric Flair to Vince McMahon: "When you were trying to be an announcer, your dad was on the board that voted for me to be world champion!"

ZING!