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20 Ways to Maintain....

Posted By: The Italian Stallionette

20 Ways to Maintain.... - 12/01/06 04:28 AM

I received this e-mail today I thought was kind of funny. I swear I'm gonna try #2 at work. And #12 would be very funny (if I ever went to an opera that is )



20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity


1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don t use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.

It's Called Therapy !



TIS
Posted By: Sicilian Babe

Re: 20 Ways to Maintain.... - 12/01/06 04:37 AM

TIS!! Those are great! And I actually have done 12. I am one of those horribly annoying people who sings along EVERYWHERE - Broadway shows, the opera, their child's school concert....
Posted By: The Italian Stallionette

Re: 20 Ways to Maintain.... - 12/01/06 04:39 AM

SB,

And can you imagine the stares if you were to skip into work???


TIS
Posted By: klydon1

Re: 20 Ways to Maintain.... - 12/01/06 04:56 AM

My late father-in-law once went to a Pavarotti concert and sang along with each song at the top of his lungs.
Posted By: Letizia B.

Re: 20 Ways to Maintain.... - 12/01/06 06:22 AM

Those are funny!

About the Diet Water... I was out having lunch with my friend once, and she had asked our waiter for water. Some other waitress brought us our drinks, and my friend took one sip of the water and said, "I ordered diet... this isn't diet."

The waitress said "Oh, sorry about that..." and just stood there with a very confused look on her face, and our normal waiter came by and asked what was wrong. So the waitress turns to him and goes, "She had asked for diet? Do we have Diet Water?" And luckily the guy caught on that we were kidding and said, "Oh, that's right, I'm sorry... I'll take care of it." The waitress walked away, still confused, and the waiter started cracking up.
Posted By: Enzo Scifo

Re: 20 Ways to Maintain.... - 12/01/06 07:28 AM

Originally Posted By: The Italian Stallionette
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
Posted By: Lavinia from Italy

Re: 20 Ways to Maintain.... - 12/01/06 07:49 AM

I absolutely adore number 3. I have to try it soon with my bosses!

Oh, and don't you think lots of people (even here in the BBs.. ) already adopted number 8 as their therapy?

Thanks, TIS!
Posted By: Sface

Re: 20 Ways to Maintain.... - 12/01/06 10:32 AM

i like number 8 because it is a good one i like this list you have here tis it made me laugh hahaha good job i think i will email this to some of my friends who would probably find it funny ill bet most people would laugh at one of the items on this list at least and if they dont then they must not be sane
Posted By: Lavinia from Italy

Re: 20 Ways to Maintain.... - 12/01/06 11:17 AM

Originally Posted By: Sface
if they dont then they must not be sane


well, sanity is questionable.....
Posted By: SC

Re: 20 Ways to Maintain.... - 12/01/06 11:52 AM

Originally Posted By: Lavinia from Italy


well, sanity is questionable.....


Not for me. I don't believe in Sanity anymore. C'mon, really!! How could some fat guy fly around the skies with his reindeer???

Sanity Claus indeed!!!
Posted By: The Italian Stallionette

Re: 20 Ways to Maintain.... - 12/01/06 01:39 PM

Originally Posted By: SC
Originally Posted By: Lavinia from Italy


well, sanity is questionable.....


Not for me. I don't believe in Sanity anymore. C'mon, really!! How could some fat guy fly around the skies with his reindeer???

Sanity Claus indeed!!!


So what are you saying? There is no Santa??? Say it isn't so!! You mean I've been good for nothing?

TIS
Posted By: Sicilian Babe

Re: 20 Ways to Maintain.... - 12/01/06 03:13 PM

TIS, You're not a good for nothing!!
Posted By: dontomasso

Re: 20 Ways to Maintain.... - 12/01/06 06:07 PM

Good ones but Ive done em all....what does that say?
Posted By: mr. soprano

Re: 20 Ways to Maintain.... - 12/01/06 06:12 PM

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.




I usually pull off the third one but with a twist. I go to the Tim Hortons drive thru (it's our biggest chain of coffee shops) and with a straight face ask them for a happy meal...supersized! lol.
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