Movies That Should Never Have Been Made

There are some. What were the producers, directors, and actors thinking. To start the ball rolling (no, you can't post GFIII):

Ishtar
Gigli
Rhinestone

Johnny Slade's greatest hits
Waiting to exhale
Tale of two pizzas

Blues Brothers 2000

Windtalkers

The story about people who talk out of their a$$.

PATHFINDER

Death Becomes Her

The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh

The first that springs to mind is actually The Simpsons. Whether it's good or not is besides the point: what does it do that they couldn't have done on the show?

True. The same could be said for the last 2 PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN films. Sure they might have "added" more story, but were they really necessary? I think universally agreed, they come nowhere close to being as good as the first.

BTW, have you seen THE SIMPSONS MOVIE yet Capo? At least with the SOUTH PARK movie they were free to curse more. I'm glad THE SIMPSONS MOVIE didn't take this route and stayed as close as possible to the show.

Such a statement is sacrelige to me. That was a good movie and it should have had a sequel.

Al Franken's Stuart Smalley . I think that was the name of it.

And also Police Academy IV...or,no, VI...may have been II or III. On second thought maybe they all should not have been made.

How about every film in the Rocky series?

Or 90% of Steven Spielberg's catalogue.

One movie that instantly comes to mind is Titanic.

Blasphemy

I hope TIS does not attack you for this.

Those are pretty strong statements.

The original "Rocky" was a great movie. Spielberg's list is better than most anyone else's.

Spielberg makes generic/popcorn/crowd pleaser flicks, something I've never had much interest in. I wouldn't say "mainstream" because I enjoy plenty of mainstream cinema, and I don't want to look like the pompous jackass who goes out of his way to just watch independent flicks. But Spielberg needs to take a few risks before I can respect him and his generic summer blockbusters... Spielberg movies are to cinema as one night stands are to sex; a few leave a lasting impression, but for the most part they're quick fixes that fail to maintain any relevancy to you or your life. They're exciting, but they sort of fail to establish any real connections with their audience. You know?

As for Rocky... I hate the standard happy-ending sports flick. You know, like the hero is going to come out on top and learn some sort of lesson whilst the audience feels inspired, or something. I loved Raging Bull, but Raging Bull was far from your standard boxing film. It was as depressing as watching a child with downs syndrome being squashed by the revolving tires of a bus, the protagonist learns a lesson, but is the most self-destructive, self-loathing human being on the face of the earth (so much to the point that the audience must question whether or not they even like him), and the audience feels something far from inspiration. Rocky is about as sappy and happy-go-lucky as they come. It's a real head-trip, for me at least.

If you think I'm being tough on Rocky, you should hear my thoughts on the painfully mediocre Million Dollar Baby.

Umm... Schindler's List... that was a generic/popcorn/crowd pleaser flick??

Oh, for the record, I don't think any film should be denied its way to production; I'm just utilizing hyperbole, as I've done plenty a time over the course of my exisitence on this site. Every expression is important to some extent and art--much like history--will repeat itself through the conception of inspiration. Beyond simple reincarnation, one idea brings light to another idea. Without a standard and mediocre film, we may never have a clever and cinematically profound film. Without subpar action films and B-grade horror, kung fu and crime epics, we may never have the work of Quentin Tarantino, or at least as we know it. There are plenty of other scenerio's and careers that I could say the same of, but Tarantino's seems to be the most obvious and easy to spot early influence.

And don't be knockin' Rocky or Million Dollar Baby, either - both were brilliant! Just because you don't like them doesn't make them any less entertaining.

Go back and read what I said. Note that I mention "a few have a lasting impression."

But honestly, is there anything less risky than making a holocaust film?

Can I please take a hit of that?

Sorry, I made the mistake of assuming this thread was some how based on opinion.

Well, yeah... the topic is "Movies That Should Never Have Been Made" -- that's as subjective as it gets. But what's the point in that? That doesn't reveal good/bad movies, that just reveals good/bad opinions.

ur opin0nz sux b1g t1m3 lawl

Ocean's 12

Well, LLC, I detect that you believe that movies are supposed to have a predetermined effect upon people. There are plenty of true fight stories out there that do have a positive ending and are an inspiration for many. George Foreman comes to mind. Since when is inspiration sappy. On the other hand, what is sappy about MDB. It ends with the death of a quite a boxing talent and the struggle of one human being to perpetrate and accept the responsibility for a death.

I suppose I could say any movie I didn't like shouldn't have been made right? I so disagree about the Rocky movies though...especially not the first one.
Also I disagree with Titantic. I loved that movie.

I know many won't agree with me, but you know what opinions are like right?

Anyway, among my list, but I know there are many more:

Pulp Fiction (I know it's very popular and at first I was looking for reasons to like it but concluded that I simply didn't like it. Was boring)
American Beauty
Boogie Nights

All boring and uninteresting and unfunny to me. I simply didn't like them.

TIS

I dislike a lot of films, but I don't think there's all that many (in relation to the amount I've actually seen) that I could say, "That should never have been made". I'm not sure what comprises such damnation.

Like I said, The Simpsons was the first one that sprung to mind, but only because it's out right now.

Spielberg's movies? Come on. They're far from conventional. Their narrative structure, visual superiority, technical prowess and aesthetic discipline have been and always will be forever imitated, but rarely are they matched in the realms of mainstream Hollywood Cinema. His worst (that I've seen) is Munich, and despite all the crass pretentiousness of that film, there were some lovely, visually satisfying moments in it. At worst, he's the victim of his own originality, his own self-promotion - I could easily dislike him for the same reasons I dislike Tarantino: over-familiarity, over-popular, over-influential.

Instead of "Movies That Should Never Have Been Made," I'd prefer to make a list of "Movies that make you say, 'What were they thinking?'" Not to hijack the thread or anything, but I see a lot of fantastic films being listed here simply because somebody didn't like them. The one film I listed may well be one I turn out to like... though whether or not it should be made is another matter.

Well put Capo. Not liking a film (or even hating it)doesn't necessarily mean someone didn't have a right or shouldn't have made it. I like your suggested title, "...What were you thinking."

In the end though, it still comes down to opinion, some will like and some won't.


TIS

The Sicilian. I think it should have been made, just with a different cast, script, director and producer.

Inspiration isn't necessarily sappy, it's the way sports films tend to present it. It's like, Rocky... What's to be inspired about by watching a midget on steroids beat a couple of communists to shit? Well, there is the whole notion of presevering and reaching your goals, but I think it's far too straight forward and precise, so much that at some point it all becomes extremely stereotypical and irrelevant to the audience, that I can't help but laugh at the cookie-cutter ideals the film makers are attempting to present.

Inspiration comes in strange forms. I don't need to watch some Silverster Stallone work his way around a speech impediment for two hours to feel inspired. I can so easily stumble upon a film like Taxi Driver and feel inspired in so many of the realms of creation and expression that I often venture into... Be it writing, music, film, animation, paintings and sketchings, what have you; to be able to create something half as beautiful is a task. I don't see anything beautiful about Rocky, at least not enough, and thus I can't feel inspired in anyway, not even in athletics. Rocky doesn't inspire me to go mountain biking, it didn't inspire me to play better soccer back when I was on a team, and it doesn't inspire me artistically either. It totally and completely fails to maintain relevancy for me.

Million Dollar Baby is probably even sappier than Rocky. It's full of recycled emotions and jumbled scenes. That film is completely about inspiration and preserverence as they show the protagonist's persistence. It's a good try, but it just didn't work. Beyond that, I thought the film was horribly paced and just sort of dragged on. The last 20 minutes became so tiresome that I was begining to fall asleep in the theatre.

Wha'chu talkin' bout? You limey's are so naive!

In all seriousness, though, I don't find Spielberg's visuals particularly special. But, I've never really been impressed by landscape shots, or special effects, or giant computerized dinosaurs. And thematically, I think he is a bit dense. He tends to over simplify emotions. It's either that, or he always deals with the most basic emotions.

Leprechauns in da hood,is a film that springs to my mind.

You actually saw that? I've been meaning to watch it; it just looks so absolutely horrible that it'd be bordering hilarity.

Oh it does.I saw it on T.v the other day,it's great for a laugh.Had me in stitches,it's so bad.

The godfather part 3, it wasnt needed.

LLC, you're a good boy, but you HAVE to get past this Rocky hating phase. If you drink your milk, and eat your spinach, you can grow up to be big and strong, just like him.

Let's call this an intervention. Listen to him LLC. We're here for you. You can do this. You'll thank us one day.

Make sure you skip Rocky 5.LOL

I'll just skip them all.

Honestly, I was shocked when I heard Stallone didn't have an extra chromosome.

But Pizzaboy......most of the ROCKY movies sucked. What, you forgot about ROCKY V?

I know Stallone is your boy and all, but....

Anyway, as far as I see it, ROCKY BALBOA is the only true sequel made for ROCKY. The rest were silly fantasies.

I want to comment on lot of posts, but this is what happens if you don't have internet at home... too many interesting posts to reply.
Anyway, some points that I want to comment on:

1) LLC, I share your view about spielberg. I do remember enjoying Jurassic park in theaters when it was released. I liked the first Rocky and didn't hate Million Dollar Baby (it scores low on "cliche" scale compared to other horrible movies)
2)TIS, American beauty??? It is one of my all time favorites. What did you not like about it?
3) My suggestions to the list: oceans 12 and matrix-revolutions

OCEAN'S 12.......well, I've written many times before of how retarded I think the twist is, and the fact that its way too crowded, to the point it makes one point why several people were doing in the movie.

what about MATRIX RELOADED while you're at it? Both sequels had promising ideas, but of course promising ideas mean SHIT if they're botched in execution.

MILLION DOLLAR BABY's problem was the script from Paul "Melodrama" Haggis. Otherwise, Eastwood and Swank did just fine.

Stallone is my boy too.

Pizza, I think we're going to find a way to reason with these Board bigshots.

Yeah, just send some of your boys down here in Appalachia, and see how long they last not with spagetti with marinara but noodles and ketchup.

I don't remember any promising ideas in revolutions. All I remember is a bunch of new characters shooting away to glory sitting on huge robotic machines Makes me wonder if it was the same set of people who made the wonderful first part.

As far as part 2 is concerned, it did introduce a lot of ambitious concepts that it did not explore in part 3. Some hightlights were the idea of the ambiguous role of oracle and cloning of Agent Smith into several agents. The downside was introducing stuff like key-maker, going back to source (which if explained well, would have made sense), the scientist who speaks a 10-page dialogue which makes no sense, the bike chase which looked like a video game and the french-man (again unsatisfactorily explored in part 2 and 3). As I finish typing this post, I think part 2 was pretty bad indeed.

I loved all three of the movies she mentioned. Most particularly Boogie Nights... I think a lot of people overlooked the humor and weren't sure what to make of the mix of comedy and drama. But I list this movie up there as one of the funniest films I've ever seen, along with comedic gems like Duck Soup. I laughed so hard during my first viewing.

I have to go to my local Parish later on, St Benedict's. I'll light a candle for them.

Rocky, 2,3,4 were good. Rocky 5 sucked bigtime. Rocky Balboa was great also. IMHO.

Well, if Sly didn't do a thing with the character after the original, then came along last year with Rocky Balboa: Thirty Years Later, that would've been ideal. Although, I must admit, ROCKY II was an incredible movie-going experience for me and my dim-witted friends, back in 1979. Like Eddie Murphy said in RAW: Rockooooooooooooo!!

I haven't seen Rocky Balboa. Please, send me a PM and tell me about it. What happens in the end? I can enjoy a movie just as much even when I know how it ends (e,g, The Godfather) I'l see it eventually.