Posted By: ChrisY2J
Re: Season 5, Episode 10: "Cold Cuts" - 05/12/04 03:19 PM
This episode opens at Port Newark on the Hackensack River. Two members of capo Carlo Gervasi’s crew, Terry Doria and Vincent “Vinny Pitts” Pitsaturo, are waiting for something. They are waiting for Johnny Sack’s guys to deliver a shipment of stolen Vespas. The Vespas are supposed to be split between the Soprano Family and Johnny. Terry and Vinny have been waiting for a long time and finaly lose patience, knowing that their half of the shipment won’t be arriving. They call their captain, Carlo.
The next day, on a New York sidestreet, Tony confronts Johnny Sack, asking what happened to the Vespas while Johnny’s new Maserati gets waxed by Sacrimoni soldier Billy Leotardo. Soprano soldier Benny Fazio and New York capo Phil Leotardo are also present. Johnny claims to not know what happened to the Vespas, saying they never arrived, probably due to heightened security due to terrorism. If they never arrived and the splitting of the goods was never gonna happen, Tony argues, then why didn’t Johnny let Carlo know?
Johnny coolly replies, “A lot of things didn’t happen that seemed like they happen. Your cousin didn’t whack Joey, the Vespas never got in my hands.” He then speeds off in his Maserati. Tony watches him go, troubled. Evidently, Johnny isn’t buying Tony’s story that Tony Blundetto had nothing to do with the murder of Joey Peeps.
Later that day, Tony’s sister Janice is attending the soccer game of her step-daughter, Sophia Baccalieri, at Summit Avenue Park. A parent for a kid on the other team, Cheryl Kolpeki, gets a little too obnoxious while cheering for her daughter. Janice glowers, then becomes enraged after Lissie, Cheryl’s kid, trips Sophia on the playing field. Cheryl and Janice get in an argument, and Janice shoves her. The woman makes the mistake of shoving back. Janice tackles her and kicks her ass in front of everyone (one of the few times I have ever liked Janice!), and the beating is caught on video by a parent filming the game.
After his New York meeting, Tony and Benny arrive at the Bing’s upstairs office, where Silvio Dante, Paulie Walnuts, and Carlo Gervasi are playing cards. Tony lets them know what Johnny had to say, and Silvio knows it’s a lie, and Tony isn’t buying it. Carlo is upset, saying Johnny owes him half the shipment of Vespas. Paulie makes a remark over Johnny’s barely-civil behavior at Joey’s funeral. Silvio notes the correlation between Tony and Johnny privately chatting at the funeral and now, no stolen goods arriving. Tony instructs Benny to go with one of Carlo’s guys to Port Newark and find out where the Vespas wound up, if they did in fact arrive.
Carmela calls Tony on his cellphone and gives him the news: Janice has been arrested. At home, Tony watches the evening news and sees it all; Janice punching the woman, Janice being tackled and cuffed by a cop as she tries to run off, Janice in the back of the police cruiser. The broadcast also notes that Janice is the sister of “reputed New Jersey mob boss Anthony Soprano.” The newscasters are having a lot of fun with this story, making remarks like “soccer mom protection program” and “it’s a Mafia-related hit.” Tony is irate.
He goes to the Baccalieri residence. Janice has been bailed out of jail. Tony, furious, yells at his sister over the embarrassment she has caused. Janice says, “That bitch is lucky I didn’t kill her!” Tony smirks, “Well, we know that,” obliquely referring to Richie Aprile, Janice’s ex-fiancee, who Janice shot to death during a quarrel three years ago. Janice is silenced, but angry. Bobby, her husband, is puzzled over that comment by Tony. Tony leaves, and Bobby talks to him outside. Tony orders him, “Get control of your wife!”
Later that night, Janice goes into Sophia’s bedroom to speak with her about the incident. Sophia is terribly embarrassed. Sophia tells her, “You’re not my parent,” and Janice gets mad, telling her to go to sleep. “Are you gonna punch me?” she replies. Bobby enters the room, and Janice steps out. In their room, Bobby lays down the law, saying their marriage is finished unless Janice goes to anger management classes.
At the illicit casino on Bloomfield Avenue run by Tony Blundetto, Christopher and Paulie talk about how much money Tony B probably makes. Chris is grousing. Paulie smiles, “No longer the teacher’s pet?” and tells Chris that now he knows how he felt when Tony was favoring Ralphie Cifaretto over him.
The next day, Chris and Adriana are sampling cakes, planning their eventual wedding. Tony and Tony B roll up outside in the boss’s white Escalade. Tony honks the horn and Chris joins his cousins in the SUV. Tony tells Chris to speak carefully, since he just get his truck serviced and hasn’t had a chance to check it with anti-bugging equipment. They speak in codes. “Our friend with the orchard is moving and retiring to Florida, and you still got your canned peaches up there, and it would be bad if somebody opened the canned fruit.” Chris gets the message. Tony B is to join him and help him out, because Tony’s “old man has a few jars up there also.”
What they are really talking about is that their Uncle Pat Blundetto, a retired mobster who has been living in upstate New York on a farm, has sold his property and is moving to Florida with his daughter, Louise. The Soprano Family, specifically Chris and the late Johnny Boy Soprano, have the bodies of a few murder victims buried there. They have to remove the remains before bulldozers and land developers arrive and find them.
As he packs for his trip, Chris tells Adriana about old Uncle Pat and his farm. When they were 12 or 13, the boys of the family would spend a summer on Uncle Pat’s farm, where he would school them in the use of guns. He has some good memories and bad memories from there. When he was 11, Chris was up there with his older cousins, the two Tonys. They relentlessly teased and bullied him. Chris isn’t too fond of Tony B, not only for picking on him when he was a little kid, but also for getting the casino.
Adriana listens to all this, and gently suggests that they leave this life, move to somewhere else, do something different with themselves. She says he could go back to writing, or maybe try male modeling. He says about the male modeling, “I’d probably be a success, but I don’t want to be around those fuckin’ people.” (Methinks they’re both a little deluded; Chris ain’t all that good looking!)
Chris tells Adriana that they can’t leave: “I’m a soldier, Adriana.”
At the Soprano house, Tony is upset to see that Carmela has had the pool drained. She tells him that she was tired of paying the electric bill for the pool, and he’s the only one who uses the pool anyways. Tony fumes, and for a moment it looks like Tony is going to hurl her into the empty pool. Carmela confronts him about polluting all of the local divorce attorneys, then walks inside. Tony calms down, then talks to her about planning a party for Meadow’s engagement to Finn.
Janice goes to another of her anger management classes, run by a Dr Phillip Seepman. She is among a collection of real lunatics, all with anger issues. She argues back and forth with an equally outspoken black woman, Evelyn Greenwood, over racial tensions, prompting a member of the group to smirk and mutter, “This is fuckin’ classic.” After much banter, Janice actually gets the message: “A lot of things are out of our control, what we can control is our response to those issues.”
Chris and Tony B drive up to Uncle Pat’s farm in the Hudson Valley in Chris’ Hum-Vee. At first, Chris, who resents his cousin, isn’t saying much as Tony B tries to make small talk. But eventually, feelings warm a little when they share memories of Uncle Pat’s farm.
Tony has a therapy session with Dr Melfi. They speak of Tony’s anger issues. She tells him, “depression is rage turned inward.” They speak of Janice and her problems. Melfi asks Tony to tell her about the Soprano family temper. Tony says, “It’s bad for business, it clouds your judgment. We forget, the old guys who started this thing, they didn’t get mad. They just smiled and nodded and made sure you got it later.” In yet another great Tony Soprano malapropism, he tells her, “Revenge is like serving cold cuts.” He also mentions how anger issues led to the demise of John Gotti. Melfi is taken aback at such casual, familiar mention of the name of the notorious gangster, perhaps reminding her of what kind of guy Tony is, exactly. Tony goes on to tell Melfi how Janice is taking anger management classes, and maybe she’s on the right track, though he’d never do that himself.
Chris and Tony B have dinner with their Uncle Pat and cousin Louise. When she leaves and goes inside, they tell Uncle Pat that they need his help locating the remains of Johnny Boy Soprano’s victims. They know where Chris buried his victim, but don’t know where the others are.
Late that night, Chris and Tony B dig up Chris’ murder victim. As they work, they become closer, sharing jokes about Tony and commiserating. When Chris mentions that Tony is a heart attack waiting to happen, Tony B smiles and says of Tony, “Our bodies are 86% water. His last blood test, he was 65% zeppola!”
They hit paydirt, finding the skeleton they are looking for. Chris reveals that this is his first murder victim, a Czechoslavakian. (This is a real blast from the past! Longtime “Sopranos” watchers will remember this is Emil Kolar, who has the dubious distinction of being the first-ever murder victim we see on this show. Chris put four slugs in his head at Satriale’s. Emil was part of a family of Czech gangsters who were muscling in on Soprano territory in the carting business. The disappearance of Emil made them back off and get out of the Sopranos’ business.) Chris tells Tony B that this is the second time he’s had to move Emil’s remains. The first time, Chris had buried him under a thruway overpass in New Jersey, and Georgie the Bing bartender helped him dig it up and move it when land developers were going there, too. Apparently, Chris next buried him on Uncle Pat’s farm.
They are determined to make it the last time Emil has to be moved. They take his skeleton into an old barn and use heavy hammers to smash up his bones, then place the pieces in a bag. As they work, Chris thanks him. No big deal, Tony B says, you’re my little cousin. Tony B also tells him about the rumors swirling around about him and the death of Joey Peeps. He tells Chris the rumors are untrue. He also tells Chris that he knows people likely resent him over getting the casino, but he figures it was owed to him for doing his time in prison. Chris changes his attitude and agrees with him over the Bloomfield casino. They throw Emil Kolar’s bag of smashed bones into a lake.
That same night, at Port Newark, Benny Fazio and Terry Doria, one of Carlo Gervasi’s gorillas, chase down a port security guard to question him about the missing Vespas. Using the guard’s own nightstick, Benny hammers away at the guard’s kneecaps. The guard tells them what they want to know: the Vespas did, in fact, arrive, and they were taken by the men of New York capo Phil Leotardo.
Benny and Terry report this to Tony, Silvio, Carlo, and Paulie. Tony is furious that Johnny is doing this to them. He tells the others that Johnny has it in his head that Tony B had something to do with the murder of Joey Peeps, and now is messing with the Sopranos financially. Tony loses his temper and smashes his pool stick.
The next day, Carmela runs into Robert Wegler, the high school counselor and English teacher she had an affair with, at AJ’s school. It is very awkward. Wegler clumsily apologizes, and Carmela tells him she is going back with her husband, then walks away. As she walks, the look on her face says, “What did I just say THAT for?”
Meanwhile, Chris and Tony B are fishing with their old Uncle Pat. Suddenly, it hits him: he remembers where Johnny Boy Soprano buried his victims, a couple guys named the Johnson Brothers.
Tony speaks with Janice. Janice seems much happier and calm. The anger management classes are helping her a lot. She apologizes to Tony for her behavior, saying she knows it’s bad for business. She says she is really trying. Tony tells her that he is happy for her, but he really isn’t, it’s obvious.
As Chris, Tony B, Louise, and Uncle Pat play pinochle, Tony arrives at the upstate New York farm for a visit. He wants to check with his guys, see how they’re coming along. It’s all good, Tony B and Chris tell him. That night, as Tony relaxes outside and peacefully smokes a cigar, Chris and Tony B dig up the bones of the Johnson Brothers, smash them up, and throw them in the lake. Mission accomplished.
After finishing their grisly chore, the three mobsters have dinner at a steakhouse near their uncle’s home. And just like when he was 11 years old, Tony and Tony B pick on their little cousin Christopher. Chris is obviously hurt by it all, especially when Tony tells him to go have a drink. Chris, who has been in rehab and has difficulty every day struggling to maintain his sobriety.
That night after dinner, Tony watches “60 Minutes” at Uncle Pat’s. He sees a report on how terrorists could use cargo containers to smuggle weopans or even themselves into the United States. He is disturbed by this, and says so the next day over breakfast. Tony and Tony B start to pick on Chris more, who decides to leave and head back to North Jersey rather than stay and go turkey hunting with his cousins.
As he drives home, Chris has tears in his eyes from the bullying from his older cousins, as he relives it all over again.
The next day, the two Tonys arrive at the Bing, where Vito Spatafore is pretending to be interested in the topless dancers. Tony and Tony B join Silvio, Paulie, and Patsy Parisi at the bar for a drink as Georgie bartends. Tony starts a conversation about the “60 Minutes” piece he saw on terrorism, and how lacking US’s security is. Georgie innocently makes a dumb comment, as he often does. Tony yells at him and snaps, giving him a vicious beating with the cash register’s till. Georgie is badly bloodied and injured by the time the other gangsters pull Tony off him.
The next morning, Paulie arrives at Tony’s house to report on Georgie’s condition. Just as Paulie arrives, Tony’s latest female conquest, a nurse from the dermatologist’s office, leaves. Paulie lets Tony know that Georgie will be okay, but he’s going to have permanent hearing loss in one ear. Feeling regret over his outburst, Tony gives Paulie money to make sure Georgie gets the best treatment. Paulie tells his boss that Georgie has quit the Bing and doesn’t want Tony to visit him at the hospital, and never wants to see him again. Paulie leaves as Tony sits, feeling bad over how his lack of control caused such needless problems.
Carmela and Rosalie Aprile talk about Carm’s encounter with Robert Wegler. She says she doesn’t know why she told him she is getting back together with Tony, it just came out.
Tony has dinner at the Baccalieri family house with Janice, Bobby, Sophia, and Bobby Jr. Tony marvels at the patience and serenity his sister now shows to everyone. He is plainly jealous. During dinner, he shows what a prick he can be. He baits Janice, taunting her over her failed first marriage and estranged son, Harpo, who lives in Montreal. Tony stoops really low, saying, “What’s French-Canadian for ‘I grew up without a mother?’” and saying in a French accent, “Socre bleau, where is me mama?”
Janice snaps, enraged, and tries to stab Tony with a fork. The kids are terrified, and Bobby stops her. She bursts into tears, saying of her brother, “I hate him, I hate him!”
Tony smiles at the damage he’s caused, and walks out.
That's awful. I don't understand how or why it should take so long between seasons. They only have 13 episodes per season. I thought it was a long wait before...2006 is sooooo far off. 
If they do show previous seasons that will be fine with me that will give me a chance to catch up.